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btsgotjams27 · 1 year ago

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things you don't know | jjk

summary: it’s been seven years since you last saw the boy that broke your heart. after moving back home, you try everything you can to avoid seeing him around town, but destiny has a wicked way of doing the opposite.

✨ title: things you don't know | one shot ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: M/17+ ✨ genre/au: angst | ex best friends!au | ✨ word count: 4.3k ✨ warnings: language, drinking, light kisses, miscommunication, reader jokes about unaliving her other best friend, mentions of throwing up ✨ prompt: “i thought i’d never see you again” ✨ a/n: heyoooo. so this is loosely based off a friendship i had in high school and in case you're wondering (irl) i haven't seen this man in over 17 years (oh gawd i'm old). anyway, thank you to @shina913 for being my beta.

✨ mini-series masterlist ✨

You were a fool to believe nothing could tear you and your best friend apart. Just like in the movies you'd watch for hours, you realized you were not the main character; he was. You were only part of the supporting cast, the best friend–not the one he wanted. Someone else had been occupying his mind, his thoughts, and you guessed you weren't privy to know all of him.

You wondered if you became the villain in his story. Were you the other woman? How could you have known if he never told you? He was your best friend. The one you shared everything with–your hopes, dreams, and even the dumbest little details of your life.

And maybe you expected too much. Maybe you had built a world of sunshine and rainbows and believed no storms could ever weather through. Maybe you cared too much, thinking he felt the same.

But at long last, you had become the girl jealous of Josie–the person who took away your best friend.

The city you lived in had grown vastly the last time you were here. Multiple lanes were added to the highways, and fields of land were cleared out for new homes, shops, and restaurants to try. Though the only thing on your mind was not bumping into him.

His was the only face you didn't want to run into in a city that felt familiar and unfamiliar. It felt silly. You're a grown woman with a car and an apartment–had bills to pay, and running into one person shouldn't haunt you as it did.

You might have done some detective work, going through old high school friends lists on Facebook and Instagram, lurking to see if he would show up. But as you suspected, he didn't exist on social media, so your chances of seeing him increased in your weird little mind.

The old hangout places were on your no-go list. Remember, you're trying to avoid him. He has not been on your mind every waking second, minute and hour. You weren't wondering how he was doing or if he was okay. He didn't deserve to occupy your mind, take all your energy.

But if you were to bump into him, you had a monologue ready to tell him how he had fucked up your mind, spiked all your insecurities, and hoped he and his stupid little girlfriend lived unhappily ever after. He deserved that, at least.

"Did you see Lillie's Instagram post? The one where a bunch of them were out celebrating Josie's birthday?" Lana asked, sipping on her iced vanilla latte. Lana was another high school best friend who didn't stomp all over your heart.

And regarding Lillie's post, it was hard not to see it when everyone you knew was tagged. Some things never change, you guessed. The same circle of friends, the same drama, the same gossip, but then again, you were sitting with one of your oldest friends.

"Yeah, I saw it."

And you also noticed how Jungkook wasn't in any photos. After doing your detective research and scouring through the internet. He was a ghost, not even showing up in tagged photos. You were hoping to get a glimpse of him in the background, but you hadn't seen a picture of him in years, so you had no idea if he had grown into that big 'ol nose of his or if he had gotten those piercings and tattoos he's always wanted. There was no trace of this man, not even in Josie's pictures.

Last you heard, they were still together, and you always rolled your eyes hard, remembering what Jeon Jungkook did to you. Didn't even have the fucking balls to say it to your face, but in a letter instead.

You suspected it was all Josie's fault. Probably afraid you'd steal him away, or he'd prefer to hang out with you. And you understood, he wasn't your boyfriend or anything, just a friend. Ex-best friend, that is. So you supposed any girl that did like Jungkook would be intimidated by your friendship.

"Have you seen Jungkook at all?"

Lana knew what went down–dropping you like a fly, like you didn't exist. She had teased you like a madwoman because you were crushing hard on his friend, Jimin, and somehow ended up befriending Jungkook.

"Nope," you said flatly.

"So, you know how we always talk about Jungkook being untraceable? I think I found him," she said, pulling out her phone.

Your jaw clenched before huffing out a breath. Lana liked to poke the bear when it came to Jungkook. You knew it wasn't intentional, and there was a part that held onto those painful memories because you weren't over what he did to you. Countless nights of questions and if you could've done anything to save your friendship. Wondering what you did wrong and why he picked Josie instead of you. You thought he had feelings and just didn’t want to act on it.

Lana slid the phone over, her two fingers zooming in on a brightened photo. "It's definitely Jungkook," she pointed to a figure in the background.

You narrowed your eyes as she moved the photo around. Your heart skipped a beat. You'd recognize that nose anywhere. It was him. He wasn't a ghost. There was actual evidence that he existed.

"I searched for more photos, but nothing else came up."

You chuckled. "Of course not. Jeon Jungkook doesn't exist on social media. It was never his thing anyway. It was always Josie who liked the attention."

"As a couple, they make no sense to me. What does he see in her anyway?" Lana pondered, sucking up the last of her latte.

Josie was popular and pretty and did every extracurricular activity known to man. Jungkook was quite the opposite: introverted, kept to himself, played games day and night, yet somehow they still ended up together.

"I don't know. Maybe she has a great personality or something," you answered.

She had everything and could’ve had anyone in the senior class, and something always bothered you about their relationship. You just couldn’t put your finger on it.

Lana could see your despair and decided to change the subject. "What are you doing tonight? Jimin is having a small party and was super excited when I told him you moved back."

You narrowed your eyes, your lips thinned. "What are we? In high school again?"

"Come on, babe. It'll be just like old times. I'll even pick you up. I know you hate driving."

It's only been a week since you've moved back. You didn't even know where all of your cute clothes were. "I have nothing to wear." It was the best excuse you could come up with at the moment.

"I got you. Don't worry about it!"

Fuck—you should've opted for a different excuse.

"I thought you said this was a small party," you said, wearing a dress that was barely covering your ass. You'd get Lana back for putting you in the tightest dress.

"Trust me, this is small." Lana hooked her arm with yours, dragging you to the kitchen, where Jimin poured several soju bottles and sodas into a pitcher. It was quite the concoction.

“How can he afford this place?” you whispered as you stared at the fancy marbled island and large commercial refrigerator.

Lana shrugged. “I don’t think he lives by himself. Probably has roommates or something.”

"Ladies! You're here!" Jimin squealed, setting down the soju bottle. He hugged Lana before greeting you warmly. "Oh—it's so good to see you!" He wrapped his arms around you, moving you from side to side, digging his chin into your shoulder.

"It's good to see you too, Jimin. You're, um, still quite the host." His parties were all the rage in high school, and now that you look back, you're unsure what you saw in Jimin. He was a good guy, a great dancer, but he partied too much for your taste. Maybe you were shallow and just liked him for his looks.

"I have a reputation to uphold." He wiggled his eyebrows, handing you a shot glass. "I call this little drink 'Soju Sunrise.'" He held his glass, waiting for you to clink it against his.

"Here goes nothing." The glasses clack together, and the mixed liquids go down your throat as smooth as silk. Surprisingly, the cocktail is rather tasty, and you hold out your glass for another round.

"Yes! That's my girl!"

After multiple rounds of Jimin's Soju Sunrise, your body loosened up along with your tongue, being quite the chatterbox to everyone hanging around. The alcohol coursing through your veins made catching up with old friends less dull. Though you wish you could've had a sign plastered to you stating your job, why you were back, and what you've been up to. It would've made your life simpler.

As you exited the bathroom, Lana immediately pulled you into an empty bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"What the fuck, Lana?"

"He's here!" she exclaimed out of breath.

"Who?" Confusion sets on your face.

“He-who-must-not-be-named!”

"Voldemort?" You raised a brow, pouting your lips together.

She struck your head. You scowled, rubbing the spot. Still confused, you think back to the crowded room.

A lightbulb finally goes off. You blame the Soju Sunrise for making you an airhead. "You've got to be kidding me."

"She's here too."

Oh, how you'd rather be clawing your eyes out right now. It would hurt less than facing Jungkook and Josie after all these years.

You had your little monologue prepared and ready to go, but you didn't think you'd have to recite it. Did you even remember what you wanted to say?

You looked around the room and sprinted when you saw a window. Your hands fumbled with the lock, but it was too hard to open.

"What are you doing?" Lana asked, her eyebrows knitted together, watching you struggle.

"I'm gonna climb out the window." It was the only sensible thing to do.

"You're so fucking dramatic."

"It's the only way to avoid them."

Lana grabbed your arms and made you look at her. "You are a grown-ass woman. Put on your big girl panties and walk out that door with your head held high."

"But I don't wanna," you pout. "And I'm wearing granny panties." You lowered your head, staring at your dress, picturing the blush-colored panties with a little bow on the front.

"Granny panties with this dress?"

"What? I couldn't find other ones and I like full coverage." Curse you for not unpacking like you should've been doing.

"Would've been better if you went commando."

"Lana! I have some dignity."

"Do you, though? You won't even leave this room and face the one person who broke your heart."

"Thanks, Lana," you said flatly.

"You're welcome!" she smiled, shaking your body. "Come on. You can do this. I believe in you." You rolled your eyes, staring blankly at her. She scanned you from head to toe, then back up to your chest. "Sweetie, we gotta make sure your tits are stunning." She dragged down the top of the dress, ensuring the swells of your breasts were peeking through.

"Lana, I'm not trying to seduce the guy." Okay—maybe you developed a crush on him, but it's not like you were going to make a move, he had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake.

"Yeah, who cares? We're trying to make Josie jealous."

"This is so high school," you comment, digging through your purse for your lipstick.

"Your point is?" Lana blinked.

You huffed. Okay—fine. If this were the only time you'd see Jeon Jungkook and Kim Josie, then fuck it. You could pretend everything was great for five minutes. Your hand went underneath your dress, tugging off your granny panties and tossing them on the ground.

"Holy shit—going commando too?" Lana squealed and clapped excitedly.

Hiking your dress up just a smidge, you were ready to smile and lie through whatever this dreaded conversation would bring up, probably old feelings of hurt and regret.

You hooked your arm through Lana's, with your shoulders back and head held high. This was it. After all this time, you would face the son-of-a-bitch who broke your heart and the cruel witch who took him away.

You had class—at least, you hoped you did. So, you'd play it cool, be calm and collected. Pretend like you had your shit together.

That is until you turned the corner and immediately spotted them snuggled up in the corner. Josie looked like a lovesick puppy all over him. Jungkook, not so much.

You clutched Lana's arm tighter and came to a halt. You repeated your short monologue in your brain from the bedroom to the living room, but it was as if your mind had wiped everything and your brain's connectors were short-circuiting.

Your eyes glistened as you watched the two. Josie sat on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him. Your lower lip quivered, and your stomach sank. You weren't sure if you needed to hurl because of them or because of the soju. Perhaps both.

Jungkook pulled away from her grasp, seemingly annoyed by her show of affection. As soon as he turned away from her, his eyes landed on you.

You flashed a small smile and a wave of your hand. Who knew seeing Jungkook would make you feel the complete opposite of the narrative you had created? In your head, he was a heartless best friend who left you for a wicked witch, but here he was in the flesh and was just that big-nosed, doe-eyed boy whom you shared everything with. You missed him so much and wanted to catch up on life like no time had passed.

Lana turned to you. "Hey, what happened to the bad bitch persona? Aren't you gonna tell him off?"

"I'm so stupid, Lana. I can't do this." So much anger had been building up within the last seven years, but underneath that anger was just a girl who was heartbroken.

Lana nudged you in the ribs. You two watched as he pushed Josie off his lap, causing her to frown. You attempted to let go, but she pulled you in as Jungkook beelined toward you.

"Oh, my god! Jeon Jungkook in the flesh?" Lana said in a dramatic tone. "You do exist! I can't believe it. Well, I'm going to find myself another drink! Have fun catching up with your bestie!" She punched Jungkook's shoulder hard, and he scowled and flinched, massaging the spot.

You pressed your lips together, unsure what to say to him. It's been seven years since you last saw him. Once you graduated from high school, you were out of each other's hair. You were off to college a few hours away, and he stayed in town to attend a local university.

Jungkook cut off all forms of communication. It was like your friendship ceased to exist, which hurt you the most. The last thing you received from him was a measly little letter explaining that he was with Josie and that she didn't want you coming in between their relationship.

You couldn't understand why Jungkook couldn't just talk to you. Josie was never mentioned in conversations, nor did you see him with her, so it felt out of left field. If Jungkook told you he liked someone, you'd never stand in the way of his happiness. You thought he knew you better than that, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe you didn't know each other at all.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Jungkook said, the corners of his mouth curving into a warm smile.

You only paid attention to the glow-up Jungkook had. He did get the lip piercings he wanted, along with the tattoos. You could see them peeking through underneath his gray hoodie hanging off his shoulder. The white tank top defined his taut chest, letting you know he liked to work out. His damp hair curled in all the right places against the nape of his neck and his forehead. The silver chain adorning his neck looked pretty enough to tug on.

"You look great, by the way," Jungkook added, breaking you out of your daze.

"Oh, thanks. So do you." You manage to squeak out finally; then you remember how provocative you looked in your dress compared to sweet, innocent, looking Josie in her pink floral sundress, who was making their way toward you.

"Jungkook, can we please get a drink?" Josie whined, giving you the once over before latching onto Jungkook like the leech she was.

"You remember—"

Josie interrupted, "Yeah–don't remind me. Can we go?"

Josie stormed off toward the kitchen, leaving you and Jungkook behind. Did he have any say in their relationship, or did she tug him around like a puppy on a short leash?

You're stunned but not surprised by her remark. Once a bitch, always a bitch.

Turning your attention back to him, you realize you have nothing to say. The scars from this friendship were carved deeply into your heart; not even the monologue you rehearsed could dissipate the pain he caused.

"I—I gotta go," you said, taking off toward the bedroom because you couldn't fucking leave your underwear on a random stranger's floor. You had to save whatever dignity you had left.

"Wait—" He tried to grab your attention and followed you, walking through the hallway toward a room. He watched you go from one end of the room to the other, searching for something. "What are you doing in my room?"

You straighten your posture, slowly turning to him. "This is your room?"

"Yeah, Jimin and I share this place along with another friend.”

Oh, now you were going to fucking kill Lana. She knew. She must have! That's why she wanted to bring you here. And out of all the rooms, you had to pick Jeon Jungkook’s to leave your underwear in?

"Great," you said in exasperation. You turned back around in search of your panties. "Where the fuck is it?" It could only be in so many places.

"Where's what?"

You got down on your hands and knees, tugging your dress down, looking underneath the bed for your granny panties. "Nothing," you grumbled. "Fuck it. Forget it." You stood, walking past Jungkook. He could have your underwear as a keepsake, you suppose.

"Hey—" He gripped your arm. "Come on. This is how you greet me after all this time?"

You scoffed, glaring at him. "You're fucking kidding me, right? You're lucky I'm even speaking to you. You don't even deserve that."

He lets go of your arm. "We kind of ended on a sour note, but it wasn't my fault."

He couldn't see it, but smoke was fuming from your ears, and you wished your death glare could burn through him and maybe even through Josie. How fucking dare he put all the blame on you? And for what exactly? You might add that you did nothing but be his friend, and he ghosted you like you meant nothing to him.

"So it's my fault?" You assumed he was placing the blame on you. "How is it my fault? Please enlighten me, Jungkook."

He quieted down, cowering his head.

"You showed up holding hands with Josie, then proceeded to not talk to me like a human being and instead wrote me a fucking letter like the coward you are. A letter, for fucks sake. You could've had the common decency to say it to my face."

You walked out of language class, and there they were, hand in hand as you idly watched from behind. And he didn’t even hand you the letter. He had stuffed it in your locker.

Your words took him aback. His recount of how everything went down was different from yours. "I'm sorry," he said. His eyes flicked to yours before looking away.

"Well, it's too fucking late for apologies."

Jungkook called out to you, and you didn't look back, storming away from him. You passed by Lana, telling her you were leaving and that you'd talk to her later.

You ran out the front door, stopping at the sidewalk's edge, remembering that Lana drove. "Fuck," you grumbled, pulling out your phone to grab an Uber.

You were stupid to think Jeon Jungkook wouldn't affect you after all these years. Maybe it's because you haven't dealt with feeling abandoned by him. Maybe you wished you did more for your friendship. Whatever the reason, you knew moving back wasn't a good idea because you’d have to deal with this.

"Hey!" Jungkook called out. You looked over your shoulder and continued walking. He ran in front of you to grab your attention. "Can you talk to me?" he asked, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

"Why don't you fucking write me a letter? Since you're so good at that," you mocked as you shuffled around him. He was a shitty writer who could barely pass Creative Writing without your help.

"That's not fair."

You scoffed, stopping in your tracks to turn back to him. "Run back to your little girlfriend. Don’t you have to get her approval first before talking to me?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

You tut. "Yeah–okay." That was hard to believe, considering she was all over him.

"She's not. We haven't been together for a while now," Jungkook explained.

"You looked pretty cozy earlier."

Jungkook looks at the ground, kicking around an invisible rock. "It's complicated."

"That's great, Jungkook, but I really don't want to hear about your relationship problems. Good luck with Josie and in life. You two deserve each other." You pulled out your phone to see if the Uber was arriving.

Crossing your arms, you walked back toward Jimin's place. You wish you pinned the pick-up location somewhere else, but you'd have to endure his presence longer.

Jungkook followed, giving you some space, stopping when you did. His eyes raked over you. His dimple appeared and disappeared as he licked his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"When you got your acceptance letter to college, and you decided you were leaving, you didn't bother to ask about what I thought," he said, hands still in his pocket, staring at the ground. Your eyes flickered to him before looking away. He softly chuckled, "I thought to myself, what would I do without my best friend? I had nothing going for me, didn't even know what I wanted to do—still don't know what I want to do. And as much as you make me out to be the bad guy in your story, there are a lot of things you don't know."

You turned away from him as your eyes began to well up. You didn't want to cry before him, rehashing things from so long ago. You let out a shaky breath, trying to contain your emotions.

"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked, using the back of your hand to wipe away the snot threatening to fall.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I would never want to keep you from something that made you happy," he admitted.

You were always open with each other, so you're unsure why this one thing made it seem like he couldn't be honest with you.

"Tell me one thing."

Jungkook hummed.

"Why didn't you tell me about Josie?" It was the one question that lingered since you received his letter.

His lips thinned. "Honestly?" You nodded. "It all happened so quickly. Jimin was throwing a party that night when you told me about going off to college, and I was in my head, overthinking everything. And Josie was there, being sweet and comforting me, and I don't know what came over me. I just kissed her to make myself feel better. Then, the next day at school, she took my hand and told everyone we were together."

"So, let me get this straight? I told you I'm going off to college. You get upset, kiss Josie because you were mad about me leaving, and then end up in a relationship with her?"

"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous."

You turned to him, hitting him across the chest several times. He held his hands up to block you. "Because Jeon Jungkook, it is ridiculous! God–you're such—a—" you groaned. "Do you know how much you hurt me? We could've avoided all this if you had just talked to me. Life could've been different for us. You could've come with me, and then we could've been together."

"Together?" He stared at you with his starry brown eyes.

"Yes, you dummy! I liked you, if you couldn't tell. I was going to tell you, but then you and Josie happened, and well, you know how the rest of the story goes."

You closed your eyes and let out a long-awaited breath. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, getting all this out in the open. You weren't expecting Jungkook to do anything to make you feel better, but at least he could hear what you wanted to say after all these years.

Your uber pulled up and you opened the door, holding onto it as you looked at Jungkook. A glimpse of the boy you once knew still lingered in his eyes. If you could go back and do it all over again, you would've fought harder for him, fought for what the two of you had. It was too precious of a friendship to let go just like that. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.

There were no forms of time travel or alternate dimensions where the two of you could've lived happily ever after, and there were only the choices you made here and now.

"Bye, Jungkook."

✨ read part two | read part three ✨

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios

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illuminiscentboba · 3 months ago

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a special occasion : kuroo tetsurou x reader

tags: a bit of hurt to comfort? I tried

kuroo is disappointed in you, you can see it in the crease of his brows meeting, the impatient tapping of his foot, the expectant stare following you around his apartment, the incredibly vague hints that he insists are dead giveaways.

hes trying to tell you something or more accurately he wants you to tell him whatever he's been hinting at for an hour now. you've seen the hearts around both today and the date of your anniversary on his calendar, and when a sudden alarm roused you both from your slumbers.

you cracked an eye open, catching a glimpse of what you made out to be the reminders app illuminated the screen of his phone, a huge, sleepy grin bringing warmth to his face as he greets you with a raspy happy anniversary baby to which you could only cock your head in confusion, thinking you misheard him. but frankly, you haven't.

unable to stand his expectant stares, you take a seat beside him, leaning into him but he shifts away in the opposite direction. "not so fast." he chides you, almost giving in when you asked him to have breakfast together. "no cuddles from me until you tell me."

"tell you what?" you whined, latching your arms around his waist as he struggles to pry you off him. what did he want you to recall so badly? you guys had your one year anniversary literally yesterday so what on earth could it be to make him withhold his affection. and what did he mean by happy anniversary??

once he tears your arms of him he holds you by your shoulders, scanning your face. he searches deeply for repressed grin whenever you pretend to forget things to tease him or the way you can't meet his eyes when you tell a white lie. when he's only met by the furrow of your brows as you plead for a hint it dawns on him that you actually have no idea what he's talking about.

he heaves a heavy sigh, giving you one more chance to fess up and say you've been waiting to celebrate this day too and were thinking about it as much as he was. "Baby, today is an important day for our relationship."

you look at him like he's lost it. "was that not...yesterday?" its true that was also yesterday, but, "that was yesterday but theres something else."

you pause, taking a moment to retrace your steps. kuroo liked to be sure of himself and so last year kuroo gave it all in testing the waters. he started to flirt with you outside of dumb jokes and references, hug you longer than usual and make time to come with you on errand. he thought he was playing it smart and casual but who was he kidding when he agreed to come with you to babysit your sisters kid? when you two both know he is terrible with children!

but when you started returning his energy and giving him confidence in the mutual feelings between the two of you the proposal to be his significant other was grand and sweet with a huge bouquet of flowers, a love letter and balloons surprising you that afternoon.

but apparently it wasn't about that but instead 'something else'.

"I'm sorry baby but I don't remember what it is."

"our first kiss!"

"what?"

"we had our first kiss the day after the day I asked you to be mine." he jut his lip out, still sulking. oh god, how could you forget that? literally the first thing after he asked to be your partner you two were whisked away, him to his duties at his workplace and you with wedding events that went on for days, which felt like weeks to him.

you vividly recalled him driving to see you at the wedding, in a tux of his own and you excusing yourself to the bathroom so you two could have some time together and for you two to finally get the kiss he had been texting you about needing all day.

"oh my god your right!" he finally lets you hug him, leaning into your hold. "I've got to make it up to you...can I finally kiss you?" you imitate as he groans, a large palm over his face, one that he lets you slide off his face. "thank you for remembering."

of course he would, it was a really big deal for him. "happy anniversaries baby." "happy anniversaries" he mumbles into your hair and you swear you can finally hear the happiness in his voice. you can't let something like this happen every again you promise the two of you.

#this one is for u nohr #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro drabble #kuroo x reader #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #kuroo imagines #kuroo testuro #haikyuu fluff #lumi writes ✨#haikyu x reader

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trainsinanime · 12 days ago

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Is there a specific scientific term for what I'll call "harm construction", meaning "thinking of ways that something harms someone in order to condemn it"? There must be, right? I see it all the time and it's not new. Let me give some examples in random order.

One of the first cases where I really remember it was at least a decade ago, an online article by a British newspaper, about how an online store had put a pole dancing pole in their toys section. A bit of an embarrassing mistake but nothing more.

However, that article provided several quotes from a British couple who said they were very worried, because their kid could have seen that. It seems pretty clear that their kid did not, in fact, actually see it, but the newspaper treated their concern as if it was a genuine thing to worry about. It was utterly ridiculous.

A more recent example is a call-out ask I received a few months ago and, of course, immediately deleted, but it's still been living rent-free in my head since then, because it was so horribly bad. I'll not repeat the exact wording, but they were annoyed that their victim blog (which I don't follow and haven't for years, if ever, and they don't follow me) was annoying and sometimes said mean things. They very ineptly tried to explain that this might have been part of the reasons why someone else, completely unrelated, sent out hate messages to yet another person. That was the harm that was so big that it supposedly justified a targeted harassment campaign. (If you're the person who wrote that call-out ask, please rethink your life. You were only increasing the hate in the world, not making anything better. I suspect the sender wasn't anyone who actually follows me, but just in case).

The biggest and most prominent example of harm construction right now is of course all about trans people, bathrooms and school sports. Conservatives and TERFs alike need a reason to oppose the existence of trans people beyond "I personally find them weird", because saying that out loud gets them correctly branded as bigots. How do you turn "let's be really mean to a marginalised group" into a progressive cause? By saying that the existence of this group causes harm. The problem with that is that trans people existing does not actually cause any harm, it's literally fine.

So in an effort to construct harm after all, they have searched far and wide for something that trans people could even theoretically damage, and the only things they managed to come up with are "there might be someone with unexpected genitals behind that bathroom stall door" and "the sanctity of gender-segregated sports". If it weren't for their cultural and political power then it would almost be funny how little potential harm they managed to find and how much they have to amplify it. They're just another couple in the newspaper worried that their kid might potentially see a website.

If you look for it, harm construction is everywhere, because we all sort of agree on a surface level that dividing people into "normal, acceptable" and "weird, must be punished" isn't nice, but the instinct to punish people for being "weird" is still alive and well and many people refuse to question it.

At a completely different end, anytime someone uses the word "normalisation" about a fanfic on Ao3, that's another example. We all know making blorbos do weird things doesn't actually hurt anybody (assuming proper tagging and so on), but we still want to punish people who do it wrong. So we construct harm, by arguing that seeing something on Ao3 might "normalise" the thing and make it more likely that someone will do it in real life.

These examples are very different, at very different ends of almost all scales of power and cultural influence and meaning, but the core idea is always the same. So, yeah. There must be a better term for this.

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miks-delusional-blog · 10 months ago

Text

Just hold my hand - Mizu x fem! reader

Tags: fluff, very minor angst (not really angst?) Idk how to tag sorry I’m a noob, Mizu just being a bit anxious, that’s as angsty as it gets

Notes: In 2nd person (you), 858 words, Mizu x Fem! reader

Context: you and Mizu are friends(?) with romantic tension (I'm projecting).

Little A/N: lmao ran out of fanfics to read so I wrote one!

Guys I haven't written fanfic (and posted it) since I was 14 YEARS OLD. I'm 20. The passage of time is so scary.

I'm open to criticism but please be gentle.

Enjoy <3 Love Yamz x

It was a cold day. Just a few days after the new year. The golden sun slowly travelled over the horizon, the moon and stars chasing after. You and Mizu were walking through a bustling crowded street, lined with street vendors.

The two of you walked together, slightly trailing behind her. Occasionally you’d remark,

“Those steamed buns smell so good, we should come back here later!”

“Woah…”

“Ooh, that’s so cool, don’t you think?”

“Isn’t that bracelet cute?”

And Mizu would hum in reply, nodding and agreeing with you nonchalantly.

As the two of you continued through the street, it seemed to get busier and louder. Your voice was getting quieter as everyone else got louder, their conversations drumming against Mizu’s ears. As Mizu walked, a necklace caught her eye. One she expected you’ll comment on.

But she’s met with silence.

Mizu, a little confused, turns back to look at you, but you’re not there. She looks around, walking back the way she came. She scanned the stalls but she couldn't see you. It didn’t help that the street had gotten busier.

‘Where are you?’ she thinks.

Before she realised, she became frantic. Barging through the crowd, she called out for you, her head whipping around just for a glimpse of you.

‘Where are you?’

Did something happen?

Maybe you got lost. Or maybe you had gotten distracted.

Had you been taken without her realising? There’s no way. She would have noticed. Right?

Had you abandoned her? No, there’s no way…

Desperate, Mizu began asking people if they had seen you. They’d brush her off, or roll their eyes, but she didn’t care.

‘Where the hell are you?’

Mizu pulled herself to the side of the street. She felt her heartbeat thumping in her ears. She needed to calm down. Collect herself. You couldn’t have gone far. Why had she gotten so worked up about you? You’re not a child.

She let out a sigh to calm her breathing. She scanned the crowd again.

‘How could I let the thought of her get me so rattled? Fucking ridiculous.’ She thought, gritting her teeth.

‘Where the fuck is she? That brat. Always fucking wandering off…’ finally her eyes settled on your figure.

You hadn’t spotted her yet. Mizu watched as you looked around at the busy crowd with nervous eyes.

In a way it comforted her. Your nervous form, looking around for her. It quelled her previous anxieties of you possibly being kidnapped or of your abandonment. Mizu smirked a little at your image.

“Mizu!” You called out with a wavering voice, still not seeing her.

‘This feels a little sadistic now.’ Mizu chuckled to herself. She walked over to you, pushing through the crowd.

Mizu called out to you when she was a lot closer.

“Mizu? Mizu!” your face lights up when you spot her, relief washing over you. You ran up to her, hugging her before pulling away slightly, remembering how that wasn’t her thing. “Oh right sorry-”

To your surprise, she pulls you back into her embrace. She lowers her head close to your ear, “Where the hell did you go?” Her words are sharp but her voice is unexpectedly soft.

“Sorry, I got distracted. I saw something at a stall and I called out to you, and I thought you heard me so I went over. But, we got separated.” You said, feeling a little embarrassed.

Mizu lets out a sigh, her eyebrows knit slightly. “Why didn’t you just tap me or something?”

You look at her puzzled, “But, you don't like being touched.”

“I don’t mind if it’s you.” She barks, a little frustrated. You flinch a little at her tone. Realising her harshness she let out another breath trying to calm down. She stepped back, separating from you. You felt the absence of her warmth.

“Look,” she began crossing her arms, “I’d rather you touch me for two seconds than having to spend an hour looking for you. You’re lucky that you just wandered off this time. Next time we get separated like that, I’m not gonna come looking for you. I don’t care if you get kidnapped or swallowed by the earth.”

You felt yourself heat up in embarrassment. Averting eye contact, “sorry…”

“I need to get you a bell so I don’t lose you. In the meantime…” Mizu held out her hand towards you.

You paused, looking down at it a little confused.

She rolls her eyes, “Just take my hand.”

You abided immediately.

The two of you began walking down the bustling street, hand in hand. Her hands were cold and rough but being so close to her made you feel warm and safe.

After a moment of reflecting on your conversation, “Mizu?”

“Yeah?” she glanced over at you.

“Did you think I got kidnapped?” You enquired.

She briefly paused, “It was a possibility that crossed my mind.”

You smiled, beaming “Oh…you really do care about me.”

“Shut up. Don't be a brat.”

You laughed, bumping her shoulder softly. She rolled her eyes, looking away from you. But still she smirks, shifting her grip in your warm and soft hand.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x reader #blue eye samurai mizu x reader #mizu x fem!reader #mizu x reader fluff #bes mizu #wlw fluff #idk how to tag im sorry

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ziminy · 30 days ago

Text

Big bad wolf

Where the reader is red riding Hood and Geto is the bad wolf waiting behind the corner to bite.

Tags: smut, mdni, f!reader, wolf!geto, dark content, killing, manipulation, major character(s) death, stalking, marking, biting, oral (m receiving), chocking, creampie, fingering, mean Geto, deep throating, rough s(e)x, orgasm denial, overestimulation, aphrodisiac,

Author's note: I can't stop laughing at the thought of him in grandma clothes. He would look good in a dress tho.

Not proofread

Masterlist kinktober masterlist

You were sent to your grandma's house to check on how she's doing. Nothing new, you used to do that all the time when you were little. But the thing is that you moved out some time ago, and you haven't visited her in years. It was no wander that you forgot the way to her house.

Someone else was supposed to accompany you. However, you were stood up in the last moment, everybody being busy with something important so you had no other choice but to go there on your own, all alone.

Follow the main path they said, the fact that it splits no one said.

You have to pick which way you're going, left or right. There's no sign that says where the paths takes, so you can only guess.

The right path looks more lively, but the left path might be the actual one. Ugh, this was so hard.

"Never seen you around these parts." a masculine voice could be heard from behind a tree.

"I'm just passing by." you said, not wanting to get in any troubles.

"You look like you need help. Where are you going?" he slowly walked out from where he was hiding, revealing himself. Eye dark just like his hair, fluffy pointy ears on top of his hair and something that seemed like a tail could be seen from behind

"Are you a local?" you asked, somehow skeptical of his motives.

"You can say so."

"Then, do you know the path to this village?" you asked, giving him the name of the place you're going to.

"What are you doing there?" isn't he asking too many questions?

"Visiting my grandma, she's sick." you don't know why you're even telling him.

"Does she lives outside the village?" how did he know? "I know her. It will be faster if you take the right path." oh, you didn't thought he'll be this useful.

"Thank you." you said, happily walking to your destination and admiring the surroundings. Pretty flowers left and right, you couldn't help but stop in place to pick a few, your grandma might like it.

You really weren't thinking nothing of it, being in your own world as you explored this forgotten part of the village, slowly remembering stuff from when you were little.

You remember the lady with the green house, now looking old, her home bearly standing up. Or that one house that was covered in flowers, now looking abandoned.

You couldn't help but sigh, everything changed to the worst. Just like you, the youngsters were leaving this place, trying to look for a better place. But now this place looked abandoned.

You tried to brush it off, it wasn't your problem, you couldn't help these people. Plus, the village your family is in is doing a lot better, so there must have been a reason for this ghosting.

"My my, I haven't seen you before." an old lady said, trying to start a conversation with you. "Are people finally moving back?" she laughed.

"I'm just visiting my grandma." you said, stopping in place to conversate with her.

"It's nice seeing youngsters still caring about the elderly." all you did was to smile and nod your head. "Where does you grandma lives?"

"Right outside the village, that way." you said, pointing at the direction you were going to.

"Be careful, there's a big wolf walking around this area. He been attacking people left and right." you couldn't help but think about the man from earlier. It couldn't be him, wouldn't he attack you if he was?

"I see. I'll be careful." you smiled, now feeling a pair of eyes on you.

"Mm. Be careful." the old lady said before you continued your trip.

You couldn't help but feel paranoid now. Perhaps you were feeling followed from the start, but only now after that lady said it you realized it. It was just your imagination, it had to be. I mean, a wolf, in the middle of the day? Come on.

Was that why everybody was leaving? Was that why your family kept talking about moving your grandma to their village? What if the wolf decides to attack your village too?

Your heart was beating so fast now, it was about to jump out your chest. You kept looking left and right, the familiar things slowly disappearing the more you get to the border of the village. The colorful houses and it's people started to fade away, now looking like a memory you had long time ago. The more you look back, the more they disappeared from your sight.

What if this was a dream? Or was your imagination playing with you? Fuck, please let me get home safely, you prayed in your head.

A few meters away from the village, there was a single lonely house standing proud, looking welcoming, like it was waiting for your arrival.

Your worries slowly evaporated as you quickened your pace towards the house, feeling euphoric and safe after that jump scare from earlier.

You stopped in front of the house, the front gate already being opened, like it was especially left open knowing that you'll be there. You walk towards the small building, knocking on the wooden door, letting the person inside it that you finally you finally got to your destination.

"Grandma, is me, Y/N." you said, a hand on the door handle and softly pushing it open. "Grandma?" you said when you noticed it was way too quiet.

The first thing you saw was how everything looked old and yet it was clean. Very few things here and there, everything looked minimalist.

There was a table right next to the entrance, and then a coat hanger right on the back of the door. A big rug in the middle of the room and then a bed right in the corner. Looks like your grandma is still in bed, that made you sigh reassured.

"How are you feeling?" you said when you walked to the bed, trying to see if the old woman is awake.

Her back looked a lot different than you remember, but that wasn't really important, was it? She slowly sat up, her hair covering her face.

She raised a hand, and you grabbed it, helping her get out of the bed. And damn, grandma was a lot taller than you remember, like, tall. She was a few heads taller than you, she had long black hair and broad shoulders. Was she working out?

"You look a lot bigger than I remember." you said, trying to make it sound like a joke.

"That's because you'll always be my baby." you blinked a few times, trying to process what she just said.

"Your voice sounds different." she sounded like a man.

"I always had this voice."

"Your clothes doesn't fit you." you pointed out.

"I grew."

"Your hair too."

"I like it longer." your eyes went up, to what's on top of her head.

"And your ears.." she looked down at you, finally being able to see her face. Oh god, how could you have been so stupid. It wasn't grandma, it was the guy from earlier.

You let go of his hand, taking a step backwards but he grabbed you, dragging you towards him before you were pinned against the closest wall.

"Why would you- Why are you- What happened-" you couldn't even think of what words to say.

"Come on now, take it easy." he had a smirk on his face, and you couldn't help but look around for any kind of clue on what happened.

"What happened to grandma?" you looked at him, finally thinking of what you wanted to say. All he did was to shrug, a smug expression on his face like he was mocking you. "What do you want from me?" he did nothing but to smile. His face getting closer to you, to your neck, sniffing you for a moment before he looked up at you.

Ah, so you were nothing but food to him. No wander everybody was leaving this place when he can easily pull a stunt like that.

Somehow, you were at peace with yourself, closing your eyes, expecting nothing more than a quick death before he devours you. Instead, you were welcomed with his laugh, amused with the fact that you were so calm.

"What?" you said annoyed.

"I like to play with my food before eating it." huh? You stared at him in disbelief. He got his face to your shoulder, opening his mouth widely before biting you, his fangs sinking into your skin, making your mind go dizzy for a moment. "On your knees." he ordered, his expression changing instantly, now serious.

With big eyes, you looked at him, begging him without words to change his mind. Spare you, give you five seconds to get the fuck out of there and run for your life. But no, he had the same stoic expression on his face, looking at you without a single hint of light in his eyes. He was so crule, how could he do this do you?

"Don't make me repeat it." you gulped, biting your lip in frustration.

"Here?" you said hesitantly, almost eating your own words.

He walked away from you, getting off the nightgown and sitting at the edge of the bed, moving one of his finger back and forth, noticing you to get closer.

He made you sit in front of him, on your knees. "Don't be shy now. Do what you're supposed to." his voice was as cold as his expression.

You had many bad words to say at his address, but at the same time, you can't help but feel something hot forming between your legs.

He kept looking down at you, and it only made you think about what you did wrong. You shouldn't have listened to him, you shouldn't have came here alone, or even better, your shouldn't have come here from the start.

"Hah." he puffed, amused at the fire you had in your eyes, full of hate and determination. Don't you think you have a bit too much courage in this situation? "Get started or I will." he spit out some words, making your eyebrows arch in frustration.

You grabbed his cock, too big for your liking, but you weren't in a position to complain.

You moved your hand up and down, not even sure of what to do. A part of you, telling you to taste him, but the more sane part was yelling at you, telling you how much of an hypocrite you were. Dumb, stupid, idiot, so many words echoed in your head, finding synonyms after synonyms to insult you.

Yes, you were indeed dumb for feeling hot in this situation, your body tensing up when your skins touched. A jolt went down your spine, feeling tingly and wandering what reward will you get from this.

You looked up at him between your eyelashes, opening your mouth and getting your face closer to him. All he did was to laugh, staring at you wrapping your mouth around his cock, moving your head little by little to get him inside.

Up and down, up and down, you keep bopping you head, trying to figure out where was your limit. But he didn't cared about that, he took a fistful of your hair and pushes you down, getting more of his dick inside your mouth and make you gag audibly.

"You can take more of it, but you're not even trying it." fuck him. What does he even know? You glare at him, and in response he laughed. He laughed because of how stupid you look, and it made him want to bully you more. "Touch yourself. Get your pussy ready for me." your expression didn't softened, you had the same ugly look in your eyes as you got a hand between your thighs, in your pants. You were so wet, and you had no idea what made you feel like that, because it was too much. You practically had a pool in your panties, swimming in your own juices since you pussy was drooling over some dick.

This was so unlike you, and you couldn't figure out why. With his dick shoving down your throat and the way your body was heating up, you couldn't think straight.

"Keep going." his words of encouragement didn't helped in any way, it only made you feel desperate for his touch.

With your mouth full of him, you started to think that you really could do more than that. To push him deeper than anything have been before, to take more of his dick and try to reach new limits, because fuck it, why not. A life and a hole you have.

So, being blinded by false hope, and this feeling of determination that appeared out of nowhere, you moved your head, confidence in yourself that you'll be able to do it. You'll be able to suck him off better than anyone ever did.

How idiotic of you, thinking that you would actually be able to pull such a trick by yourself. But he appreciated your effort, now he was helping you get him inside further and further than before, his cock going down your throat, you could feel it so deep that you couldn't help but tense a little, a few tears appearing in your eyes. "Keep touching yourself. You'll regret it later if you don't." he kept reminding you, his voice sounding out of breath and just as cold as ever.

He's so heartless, he's expecting you to do all the work. Suck him dry and touch yourself, to get yourself ready for him when he's not paying you any attention. You need more words of encouragement, touches, kisses even. What a dickhead he was, having such a pretty thing as yourself all to himself and not even trying to do you right.

He was very vocal though, he wasn't hiding his voice even for a moment. He kept moaning and moaning, his hand on your hair, pushing you down. His head fell back, the loudest moan he left out so far erupting from his mouth. He was such a bitch and it was making a mess out of you, something inside of you slowly waking up, wanting to bite him just to see how he'll react.

"Fuck." he was out of breath, grabbing your hair better as he moved his hips forward. His action caught you by surprise, making you grab his thigh to hold yourself in place as he kept fucking himself into you.

The next thing you know, is him getting out your mouth, hands wrapped around your arms to help you get up, and then ripping your clothes off. He pushed you into the bed, face down and ass up before slapping it, leaving a big red mark on you skin.

No warnings were said before he positioned himself at your entrance, the head of his cock right against your warm pussy. Well, this was it. The anticipation was eating you, not knowing what he'll do, or when. Biting your lip, you stayed quiet as you waited for his next move.

He pushed himself in, making you gasp at the way he was stretching you. You were so tight, he couldn't help but grab your ass so he could move better. It hurts, if you're being honest, and you can't help but grip the sheets.

He was mean, bullying himself inside, he kept pushing and pushing until he got all the way in. Taking a moment to himself to take a deep breath before starting moving his hips. Long deep strocks, his dick touching against spots that made you see stars.

He was no saint, fuck it, he wasn't a good man to begin with and the fact that he showed you absolutely no affection was pointing that out. "Told you to touch yourself, now you'll have to deal with it." how mean he was, he showed you no mercy.

His words was making it seems like you were the one wanting this, like you made him follow you all the way here and then begged him to do such despicable acts. But perhaps he just wanted to be delusional, lost in his own world as he kept fucking into you.

You kept your mouth shut, and the fact that you didn't let a single word out made him angry. Biting his lip, frustrated with your actions and looking visible mad. Pride was a sin after all, and he liked to live as a selfish man.

Refusing to back down, he slapped your ass, making you gasp audibly and turn your head to look at him.

He lower himself, getting closer to your body. His arms resting on each side of you, his chest pressed into your back before he bite your shoulder, sinking his teeth into your skin.

That overbearing sensation from earlier came back, it felt like your blood was moving backwards, boiling and moving at a much faster speed making you feel hotter than you already were.

If you weren't wet enough, now your juices were running down your thighs and onto the bed, leaving wet mark on you, him and the sheets. But he enjoyed this, looking at you trembling and making this adorable expression, finally looking desperate for him.

He didn't had enough yet, not when he could get you in a more degradable state. Moving his lips into your neck and sinking his teeth again.

It was like he was injecting something into you. An unknown substance that made you lose your mind, your mouth watering and feeling like you didn't know your own body.

Was this enough for him? Or how much longer was he going to be petty? Because you don't have enough time to play his games, the longer he's inside you without moving the more you want to flip him around and show him that you too can play this game.

He moved on the other side of your neck, biting it and making you feel more desperate with each second pass by. If his aphrodisiac wasn't going to kill you, then he will. He will sink his teeth and mark you as many times as it needed to prove his point, and that was that it was stupid to resist him. If you can't be honest or humor him, then he will.

And he bite you again, leaving his teeth mark on your skin as he suck and licked on it after that, moving on another spot and give you another doze of his toxin, because why not. He wanted to do it so he'll do it.

He realized what he's doing only after he felt your warm walls tightening around him, squeezing him again and again before he realized you just came. That made him stop and look at you.

The way you fell on the bed, you couldn't even hold your own weight up, and how you were breathing heavily. He can't say that he hates the way you looked in that moment, but he doesn't love it either. There was this feeling inside of him that told him it wasn't enough, he didn't do anything at all so how dare you be tired already?

So, he grabbed your hips and dragged your ass in the air, your face against the sheets as he started moving his cock in and out once again.

He showed you no mercy, he kept going at it hard from the start. Now, it wasn't anything too wild, it wasn't that hard but it was enough to make the bed move harshly.

He can show you something that is worth cumming for. A few mere bites wasn't enough to do anything, and yet you really dared to go ahead and forget about his hard dick, forget about him and how he was going to make you cum.

The audacity you had, he still can't believe it. You'll see what he's capable of.

Pushing your head down into the bed, face against the sheets as he kept running his cock in and out, the room filled with wet sounds and he's way too proud of that. He's so happy seeing you drunk on his dick that he can't help but slap your ass, leaving his hand print on it so you would remember.

Your insides were squeezing him again, making him to pull out and flip you around.

This was the second time this happens, what's wrong with him. "You want to cum, huh?" he said in a mocking voice, sitting down on the bed. "Gotta earn it." he really wanted you to ride him. And, well, it didn't took you long to jump in his lap and move yourself like there's no tomorrow.

You easily took him in, moving yourself right away to feel some friction. With a hand between your legs you rubbed your clit, not needing much time to cum when you felt like your whole body was going to melt. That didn't stopped you from moving your hips, too desperate to make this agonizing feeling go away.

He placed his hands on your hips, moving you up and down even better, faster than before. He didn't wanted to admit it but you felt good, so good that he couldn't help himself but cum, pumping his load deep inside you before he came back to his senses and started to move you again.

It was just after you came for a second time when he pulled out, right after he came inside you one more time. He flipped you on your back, getting back between your legs and started moving his dick like he didn't do it before.

He kept moving at a certain angle, trying a new way every now and then to see which one made you feel better, because this wasn't just about him, it was also about his pride, you looked just so delicious being fucked up and desperate to feel him.

Your sounds weren't loud enough, your touch was almost non-existent and it made him look visibly mad. Was there a moment that he looked happy ever since he appeared before you?

He wrapped his hands around your neck, squeezing it slightly to hold you in place as he kept ravaging your insides. He kept moving and moving, going harder and harder just to see you squirming. You were reacting so much better now, he couldn't help but have this strange grin on his face, looking at the way you were struggling to take him.

You can come with him, can't you? You can come at the same time, he knows you can. He just haves to give you a little push. So, he chocke you even harder, making your head spin as he looked satisfied with where this was going. You grabbed onto him, feeling dizzy. Your orgasm felt so much violent this time, and the fact that he had no mercy on you didn't make you feel any better.

With a few more thrusts, he came, filling you up even more, and somehow, telepathically, you came at the same time as him.

He got out of you, his cock resting right on top of you as he kept his hands wrapped around your neck, still chocking you, harder and harder, making the air from your lungs stop flowing.

He looked down at you, with the same old psychotic smile as your mind slowly becomes blank, your vision blurry as he disappears from your view.

"Ah, shit." he cursed, realizing too late what he had done. "I did it again, didn't I." he sighed, getting up the bed and looking at you one more time before he put his clothes on, leaving your lifeless body right there where he left you. It wasn't his problem anymore.

Author's note: Tumblr decided to die on me halfway through writing this and I had to re write a little (more). Glad I finished it.

#geto smut #geto suguru smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu geto #suguru geto #geto x reader #jjk geto #geto suguru #suguru geto smut

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fairysluna · 1 year ago

Text

unrequited.

Aegon was unable to keep his love for you as a secret, but he did not expect for you to shatter his heart into pieces after realizing you do not feel the same way.

MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader.

TAGS — angst, unrequited love, inspired by THAT scene from little women, hurt/no comfort, a bit of miscommunication, one sided love, a lot of crying, guilt, cursing, aegon was named heir. If something is missing, let me know!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE — i was sad, i was watching little women, and then i remembered that i haven't written angst in a very long time. It's short, but well, it is what it is. I'm trying to escape the writer's block so bear with me if this isn't perfect, hope you all like it!🤍

WORD COUNT — 1.6k

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤenglish is not my first language.

There was something in the way his eyes looked at you that should have warned you about what was going to happen. Maybe the way his company felt slightly different, or the way he purposely brushed his hand as he walked beside you along the shore of Dragonstone.

A peaceful silence reigned between you two, where only the sound of the sea and seagulls were heard. There was never a need to be talkative whenever you were with him, you two did not need words to express to one another, just a single glance at him and you would be able to read him as if he was a book. It had always been that way. Aegon had never attempted to hide how much he enjoyed your company; no matter how many duties and responsibilities his position might have, he would always find some time during the day to make you company. The mere sound of your cheerful laughter was enough for him to feel whole. Happy.

Your friendship with Aegon began unexpectedly; you were a Lady of a small house, bannermen of the Tyrells. Not even in a million years you would have thought you were going to be one of the heir's closest friends. But you were, and Aegon loved it. You were not like other maidens, you always saw beyond his royal title, beyond the power he would once hold. You saw him as Aegon, Egg as you would sometimes prefer to call him. He loved that you were a breeze of fresh air that would wake him up from his torment every time he felt too overwhelmed.

You were everything for him, an escape of the four wall prison that would often be disguised as a castle. You set him free.

Aegon, inevitably, fell for you in the most beautiful of ways; slowly and unexpectedly. One day he woke up and felt the urge to hold you in his arms each morning; he could not stand another minute without you by his side - it felt almost unnatural to be without your company. His heart found a reason to beat with your presence, his brain would often overshadow his thoughts with silly daydreams about you.

You, you, you. It's always you. It has always been you.

Now, as you were complaining about your Septa scolding you that same morning, Aegon was in awe, mesmerized by you doing such a mundane thing like talking. And, bewitched by the way your lips moved, he stopped his pace. Salty air filling his lungs as he encouraged himself to say what he has been dying to say to you.

You did not realize about it until you were a few steps further than him, and you turned around. He was just looking at you; his puppy, lilac eyes staring at your face almost without blinking. You chuckled nervously, confused about what was happening. You smiled awkwardly, feeling a bit too exposed all of the sudden.

“Is something wrong?” You asked, frowning.

He did not reply, but you saw it in his eyes.

Your smile slowly faded away once the realization hit you, and the atmosphere changed immediately.

“Aegon…” You mentioned his name so differently, it felt almost foreign due to the way it left your lips. It was a plea, you were begging him to not say the words that were about to be pronounced.

He took a step closer; the dreamy glow in his eyes was still there, as if he had not seen the look on your face yet.

“Please, don't,” you managed to say, breathlessly. Your heart was beating so fast that you felt tired. Exhausted, even. You desperately tried to stop it before it was too late.

But you failed.

The weight in your chest became heavier, almost unbearable. Your lower lip was shaking, your legs trembling. You were heartbroken because you knew what you would have to do. Shaking your head, you refused to let him speak, both of you interrupted your words as a desperate attempt to silence each other.

“You need to hear me-”

“-stop this, Aegon-”

“-there’s no use to keep hiding it-”

“-don’t do this-”

“-you know what I'm about to say-”

“-Aegon, please-”

“-I love you.”

The heat of the burning sun was not enough to vanish the coldness that suddenly grew between you two. You closed your eyes, defeated. The silence became painfully awkward, and in that moment Aegon knew the truth.

His heart shattered.

You lifted your head to meet his eyes; they were covered by a layer of tears that were reluctant to escape. He was trying so hard not to fall apart, almost shaking as he stood as stiff as a rock.

“I love you,” he repeated in a whisper, thinking you might have not heard it the first time. “Please… please say it back.”

“Aegon-”

“Please,” he pleaded. His voice was broken and weak, trembling as he choked on a sob. “Please, say it.”

“You cannot do this to me-”

“I have loved you since the first day,” he confessed. “I’ve been trying to deny my feelings, trying to convince myself that it was nothing more, but it is. I need you, I love you more than words could tell, and my heart cannot bear another day without you being mine.”

“Aegon, I don't- I can't-”

“I want you to be my queen, my life companion,” he continued, watching you as you kept shaking your head. “My love, I want everything with you. I want to rule this fucking kingdom with you by my side. Please…”

“Aegon, I'm not fit to rule-”

“Me neither, but we can be a great team, I- I know that-”

“I can't be a queen, I can't marry you,” you interrupted him, trying to make understand your point.

You hated the prohibitions of a title. You see how Aegon was trapped in an invisible cage without escape, and you did not want that for yourself. You wanted freedom, you wanted to travel, to cross the Narrow Sea and meet foreign lands. As a queen, you would be caged; and as a wife to a king, you would be forced to provide him with heirs you do not wish to have yet.

It was selfish, you thought, but it was the thing that would make you happy.

“Aegon, this would never work,” she murmured as she grabbed his hands. He took a sharp breath when he felt your touch. “We're too different, we do not wish for the same things.”

“I know you love me too…. I know you do,” he told you. Some part of himself knew that it was a desperate attempt to try and convince himself that his words were true. But, deep inside, he knew it was not the case; one single glance at you would tell him what he's too afraid to accept.

“You are my best friend, you are the person that I trust the most, you-”

“Because you love me!” he raised his voice.

“I don't, Aegon…” you stopped him before he could say more. His nostrils twitched once he felt the itch on his nose, his lips trembling. “I don't love you like that.”

There was another silence. It was torturous. Aegon pulled his hands away from you. You quickly wiped the rebel tear that fell down your cheek.

“I know you think I'm the one, but I'm not. We would never work, this would only make you miserable-”

“You're the one for me,” he murmured, his eyes lost in the ground.

“I'm not,” you said, trying to reach him, but he just took another step back. “You'll find someone who will love you, who truly deserves you-”

“Am I not worthy of your love?” He suddenly asked, your heart aching at his broken voice.

Gods, you were about to explode.

“You're much more than what I truly deserve, Aegon, you're way better than-”

“I want you, I don't want another. I love you, I could never love anyone else the way I love you!”

“But you will!” you raised your voice to match his. “You will love someone else, and you will forget about me.”

“I can't ever forget about you,” he muttered. He remained quiet for a while before he looked down at you, noticing your teary eyes; a part of him hated himself for making you cry. After a few seconds he said, “I figured you would love me too… After everything we've lived and felt together. I thought we were gonna be happy-”

“You will be happy, Aegon. You'll find a fine young maiden who will give your life a purpose, but that is not me. It cannot be me.”

“You were my purpose,” he murmured, his face covered in tears as his puppy eyes would not look at you.

He felt embarrassed for how broken he was. For how naive he had been to even dare to believe you could possibly love him back. He wondered how he could be so foolish.

“I wish I could be the woman you want, I wish I didn't have to say these things- Aegon!”

He walked away, not wanting to hear any other of your excuses. It hurted enough as it is, your words would only wound him even more.

You tried to stop him, to grab his arm, yelling his name, and try to make him understand you, but he just walked away leaving his footprint on the wet sand as you stood there.

Tears were streaming down your face as you watched him go, one of your hands pressed against your chest as if you were trying to take the pain away. It hurted you to see him so broken, especially when you know it was you the one who caused it.

You had just lost your best friend, and there was no returning point from that.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤfollow @by-fairysluna for more updates!

#aegon ii targaryen x you #house of the dragon #aegon ii targaryen #angst #aegon ii x you #aegon ii fanfic #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii targaryen x female reader #aegon ii targaryen x y/n #hotd imagine #hotd x reader #hotd angst #aegon ii targaryen angst #aegon ii fic #hotd fanfic #hotd #hotd fanfiction #hotd au

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hannieween · 1 year ago

Text

closing night | backstage series | l.sm

He felt like home. Like coming home after a tiring day, you can finally relax and unwind. The comfort of his affectionate embrace is everything you've been longing for in the last few days.

♡︎ pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader ♡︎ genre: fluff, smut mdni you'll get blocked ♡︎ aus: theatre performer seokmin, fake dating with benefits ♡︎ word count: 12.8k

↣ part 1, part 2, part 3, navi post

₊🎧: show me - devita | slow dance - shownu x hyungwon

₊ tagging: @aaniag @madein97line @cottoncheol ty ty ty ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ♡︎ ₊ nsfw tags under the cut

♡︎ warnings: swearing, pet names: noodle, baby (hers), smut with plot, soft dom seokmin, big dick seokmin, dirty talk, making out, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (m, f), swallowing, a bit of praise kink (f), a bit of hand kink. | again, this is not proofread so i apologise for any mistakes or inconsistencies

part 4

Three years before.

The gentle sounds of the nearby river flowing lulled you into a peaceful nap.

As you slowly woke up again, confused as to why you were in a park, you felt gentle fingers brush your hair. A warm voice singing a tune over and over again.

You were lying on the grass, your head resting on Seokmin's lap. Then you remembered that you were on the park with your friends to wind down after a long practice session for a course that was important to you.

There was a small mark on Seokmin's jeans where your drool had landed. Ashamed, you reincorporated in the grass, the back of your hand wiping away the drool on the corner of your mouth.

"I drooled on you," you muttered, feeling a bit groggy still.

"I know, I felt it. Disgusting," you heard him say with a chuckle.

You turned to see him. His dark brown hair was hiding beneath a green cap.

"Sorry," you mustered a shy smile.

"I'm only joking, noodle," he reassured.

You noticed that Soonyoung and Seungkwan were nowhere to be seen. And the sun was no longer at its highest point in the sky.

"How long did I sleep for?" you asked, fumbling on the grass for your phone.

"I don't know. You have a very deep sleep, though," he commented with a chuckle. "Some kids came here with loud speakers to do a dance challenge and you didn't even budge. Was funny."

Embarrassed, you found your phone in your backpack. "Haven't been sleeping lately. I've been pulling an all-nighter this week for finals."

You saw that it was already 4PM. So you had slept in Seokmin's lap for about 3 to 4 hours. You felt your heart drop.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" you asked, horrified that you had slept for hours on his lap.

His lips pressed in a small smile, he shrugged. "I thought you'd needed it," he went to grab his things, and stood up. "Hungry? D'you wanna go grab something to eat with me? I'm buying."

"I uh... thank you," he held out a hand to help you stand. "But I should go home. I have to keep studying," you muttered shyly, brushing the dirt and grass off your clothes.

Seokmin had been a very attentive friend lately. After months of you being in their friend group, you had grown really close to him. And besides letting you sleep on his lap for hours, he'd been making sure you eat, that you get home safe and sometimes he brings you coffee when he knows he'll find you in the library.

His usual response was that you had helped him a lot with homework and assessments at university, and that he felt the need to pay you back all the time. As much of his explanation was correct, you did not want to dig any further.

"That's okay," he shrugged again. "But you've been pushing yourself too hard lately. I don't want our noodle having a burn out for being an overachiever," he cooed, dropping an arm on your shoulders as you walked through the park, beside the river.

"It's this stupid art history final 'm worried about," you mumbled, trying not to think too much of his arm draped in your shoulders.

"Don't worry, noodle. It's just a test. It won't matter in a year, or in a month," he chanted carelessly.

"But–maybe you're right. But it matters to me now," you mentioned.

"I can help you study," he suggested, dropping his arm from your shoulders.

"The last time you helped me study you fell asleep in the library," you reminded him, but couldn't help but smile at the memory.

"And you let Soonyoung paint my face with your markers," he pouted. "You're right, I shouldn't help you."

You laughed, remembering the pictures of him asleep on the library with doodles on his face.

"We can grab milkshakes and you help me study for a bit. Fair trade?" you suggested.

"Or, I can help you study today and you come with me for the job fair next week," he countered.

"I'll go with you to the job fair either way, we don't have to trade that," you said.

Seokmin has been anxious about that job fair for weeks now. Apparently some theatre companies and different acting agencies will be there and he wanted to make some good impressions, but he couldn't do it alone.

"Promise you'll come with me?" he asked.

You suppressed a smile. "Sure."

He held up his pinky finger out to you and you scoffed, he held it closer between you, insisting. "You've been standing me up lately, don't wanna risk it."

You intertwined your pinky with his. "I promise."

"Good. Now, milkshakes..."

Your chuckle was interrupted by your phone buzzing in your pocket, pulling it out from your pocket you went to check it.

[4:19 PM] youngho ♡: bbgirl [4:19 PM] youngho ♡: wya? [4:20 PM] youngho ♡: i'm outside your building

"Oh, crap," you muttered, and Seokmin leaned to peek at your screen. "Sorry, can we move our study sesh to tomorrow? I totally forgot I had a date with Youngho."

Seokmin coughed, masking his chuckle. "Sure, I'm free tomorrow," he muttered awkwardly. "I thought you said you called it off with Youngho 'cause he was a mess."

"He is," you muttered. "I decided to give him a second chance."

"Why?" Seokmin's frown deepened.

You shrugged. "He's kinda cute. I don't know."

Seokmin snorted.

"What?" you asked, a shy smile appearing on your lips.

"Nothing, nothing," his smile faded as he looked at the ground while he walked beside you. "Can I ask you something?"

You were taken aback for a minute, seeing that Seokmin got serious all of a sudden. "Sure, what is it?"

He was biting his lower lip, looking at the sidewalk as you continued walking toward the bus stop. "Do you see this thing with Youngho going somewhere?"

"Oof. Don't know. Don't think so," you shrugged. "Maybe it's just a fling. Why?"

He bit his lower lip, looking a bit lost in thought. "Dunno. I was just thinking that's kind of difficult for me to date lately."

"That reminds me," you mentioned before crossing the street with him at your side. "Didn't you tell me you were going to ask Seoyeon out?"

"Who?" he muttered, his mouth pouting. He shook his head slightly. "Ah, yeah. I didn't."

"Why not?" you frowned. His face looked deep in thought.

"I forgot," he muttered.

You narrowed your eyes as you both waited for the bus for you. "Did you chicken out, Lee Seokmin?"

He smiled sheepishly. "No," he mumbled. "I just forgot."

"She thinks you're cute! You should get to know her," you landed soft slap on his shoulder. "She is nice. I like her."

"Maybe you should ask her out," he muttered, the tips of his ears bright red.

"That's not what I meant!" you whined. "Come on, Dk!"

"What if I don't like her at all? I want to ask someone I know I like," he murmured shyly.

The bus was approaching the stop. The screech of the brakes almost drowned out his voice, but you managed to catch his words.

"Then you should go ahead and do it," you replied simply with a smile. "That's me. I'll see you later, Dk!"

You waved goodbye as you boarded the bus, choosing a seat where you could still catch a glimpse of him. He smiled back at you, a bittersweet smile.

Present day.

It has been just a few days since you last saw Seokmin. But he's been living in your mind every day, making you miss him with every second that passed.

You attempted to maintain your daily routine, and keeping yourself occupied proved effective, for the most part. However, there were days when you felt terrible, and Seungkwan couldn't help but notice, persistently badgering you about it until your shift at the coffee shop concluded.

It was the last week of your season before the last night of show. It's been six weeks since you and Seokmin started fake dating. And four days since he called it off, confessing that he had broken the promise he made to you.

That promise meant that your fake relationship would be only just for fun. No real feelings.

You tried to keep your mind off the memory of him. You were in the middle of brewing coffee, since you haven't been sleeping well for the past few days.

The buzzing of your phone snapped you out of your train of thought.

[10:21 AM] soonie: i got the role [10:21 AM] soonie: ╥﹏╥ [10:22 AM] soonie: did u get the role too [10:27 AM] soonie: don't leave me on read

Those were the messages you had already read. Ignoring him was not always easy, given his insistence. However, his rapid-fire texts sometimes gave you a headache.

[10:40 AM] soonie: sigh [10:40 AM] you: i got the role too soonie [10:41 AM] soonie: we're kissing ig 🤮🤮 [10:41 AM] you: it's just 1 night every week, chill [10:41 AM] soonie: FOR 7 WEEKS [10:41 AM] you: it's just a simple kiss soonie [11:42 AM] soonie: WHAT WILL I SAY AT YOUR WEDDING FEAST [10:42 AM] soonie: scratch that [10:42 AM] soonie: how will i be able to look at dk in the eye after i kiss his girl ? [10:42 AM] soonie: 🤮

Soonyoung obviously didn't know that you and Seokmin weren't in a relationship, he didn't even know that it was all completely fake. You didn't know how he'd react. But you decided not to tell Soonyoung anything yet.

You got an email confirming you had gotten the role earlier in the morning. So you'll be Satine for 7 weeks. And not only that, you'll have to extensively prepare for the shows.

Now that the company recently acquired a bigger production team and acquired the permissions and rights to adapt more popular works into theatre, you had the opportunity to get bigger roles.

This was a big opportunity for you. It meant bigger audiences, larger shows, larger runs. Training, classes, reading, learning scripts, work, work, work.

But it was okay, you needed to be busy.

The reason why Soonyoung was freaking out was because you'll have to kiss him for one particular scene. From what you knew, it was a passionate kiss. But you two were actors, kissing people for a scene was normal.

When you kissed Seokmin for the first time, you were acting. You were pretending to be his girl for a night to make your friends see that you were over your ex.

But even going back to the memory, it wasn't like acting on a stage. You felt something. Whenever Seokmin touched you, kissed you, you felt things that you usually didn't feel on stage.

Did he feel the same things you did when you first kissed?

The mere recollection of him caused your body to ache, and you physically recoiled from the memory. This same feeling had been happening ever since Seokmin left your apartment that night he confessed his feelings for you.

Pain. Fear. Regret.

But you couldn't quite put your finger on why.

Seokmin was your best friend. He has been for years now and you were in the brink of losing him to your bad choices. You knew that having sex with him blurred the lines of your friendship with every encounter you had. But you didn't seem to care in that moment, now you regret it.

You never intended for this to go so far. In the beginning of it all, you just thought it was a fun little secret you had with Seokmin. A fake relationship between two friends who like to fuck. The first time you had sex with Seokmin, it was purely that. Just sex.

All because you wanted people to shut up about your cheating ex. You didn't even feel something for your ex anymore, so you didn't think that you were using Seokmin as a rebound. But it felt wrong.

So, it was a particular shitty day for you. You didn't even felt like celebrating the news of your new important role.

Later that day you had your shift. You dragged yourself to the coffee shop, when you arrived fifteen minutes late, you knew what would happen.

"There you are," Seungkwan said, putting his phone in his pocket. "I've been calling you. Are you okay?"

Your brow furrowed. "I'm fine, Boo," you searched your pockets. "I think I left my phone back in my apartment. Sorry."

He eyed you up and down for a second, a worried look on his face. "You look like shit."

You scoffed. "Thanks, man."

"I mean it. Are you sure you're okay?"

You rubbed your face with two hands. "I'm just tired, that's all."

He pursed his lips for a second. But decided to continue his task for the moment. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Boo, I'm fine," you insisted.

"I'm worried!" he exclaimed, annoyed now.

"Don't be," you muttered, taking your position at the cash machine. "'m fine."

You heard him scoff, but didn't say anything else anymore.

The shift was difficult. You didn't think of Seokmin for hours, but you felt the echoes of your worries affect you in other ways. You'd forget simple things, mix orders and make minor mistakes that cost you time.

It was starting to annoy you. This failure in your mind due to your stress from the idea of losing your best friend. He told you he wouldn't go anywhere. But what if he did? What if he backs out seeing your apparent indecisiveness?

The shift ended after long hours of you fucking up. Luckily no one told you anything, in fact, you felt a bit annoyed that no one said anything. Instead, your co-workers seemed to be giving you the pity treatment again. But now for a new reason unbeknownst to them since you weren't saying anything.

You just looked like you're close to breaking. You looked like you were holding back tears and you might as well be.

Keeping secrets could be like that–weighing heavy on the heart. You realized that there was nothing wrong with opening up about what had been tormenting you for days.

And you just needed to let it all out.

"Seungkwan," you muttered as you were closing the shop.

"Yes?" he lifted his gaze from his phone almost instantly.

"Can we talk?" you asked and your voice sounded small.

He put his phone in the pocket of his jacket. "What's wrong?" the tone of his voice was soft. So soft that you felt like breaking into tears.

The pavement where you were standing was empty and the streets equally desolate, except for the occasional passing car that interrupted the silence with the sound of tyres on the wet pavement. The night was still, as if it had fallen silent to listen to the words you were about to say.

"I fucked up," you muttered in a shaky tone. "With Seokmin."

His gaze softened and he gently pulled you into a warm embrace, his hand resting on your shoulder. It was at that moment that you could no longer contain your emotions. You broke down in tears for the first time since Seokmin left, tears ran down your face in his comforting embrace. It was an abrupt release, and the intensity of your tears took you by surprise, as if it was proof of the depth of your emotions and the relief of finally sharing your burden with your best friend.

Broken sobs were muffled in Seungkwan's shoulder as his hands caressed your back, soothing you. "That's it, let it all out," he hushed.

"I– I'm sorry Boo," you sobbed.

"Why? What happened?" he asked, still in a soft tone.

"I lied to you. We never had a relationship. It was all fake," you mumbled, trying to get the words out as fast as you could, cringing with every single one of them.

"What?" his hands on your shoulders pulled you from the embrace. "Why?"

You wiped your face off your tears. "It was a stupid thing we came up with on the opening night. We pretended to be a thing, but we messed it up."

His eyes unfocused from yours, his mouth parting a bit. "Ah, I see. I knew there was something off," his brow furrowed, eyes locking on yours again. "But why lie? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was tired of people asking me about Youngho, I just wanted to make it stop," you sobbed.

"Why not just tell me to stop asking?" he shook his head and blinked rapidly. "Fuck, I know you did tell me, forget I asked that. But, why did you say you fucked it up?"

"We had sex," you mumbled shyly. "A lot."

He cringed visibly. "Right. That I did know," his brow furrowed. "But you made it seem like it was normal."

"We promised it would only be that, a no strings attached thing. No feelings, we would remain as friends only."

Seungkwan listened intently, but you saw something in his face that he could tell where the story was going.

You inhaled deeply, trying to calm yourself down but the tears wouldn't stop coming. "Seokmin called it off last saturday," you mumbled.

"Let me guess, he's looking for something serious," he inferred, nodding at your reaction. "And you don't want that?"

"That's what I don't know," you sighed. "I can't deny my feelings for him, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that step."

"Why's that?" he ask, a genuine curiosity in his voice. "Didn't you just said you had moved on from your ex?"

"I have moved on," you insisted. You paused, your thoughts gathering as you considered your response. "It's not about my ex. It's about me. I don't know if I'm truly ready for something more with Seokmin."

He nodded, seeming understanding. "I get it. It's important to be sure of what you want. But I thought you really liked him. You seemed really happy with Seokmin."

Your heart twinged with pain. "I do like him, Kwannie. I really do and it drives me crazy," you shuddered. "What if I fuck this up again? I don't want to lose him."

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. "You're annoying. You won't fuck this up, you know why?"

Your best friend wasn't really annoyed, but he looked like he wanted to whack you in the head.

"Why?" your voice still sounded small.

"Because you love him. You won't fuck it up. You're just scared and that's completely okay. It's human," he shrugged and patted you in the back.

You didn't stop at the word again, but it did had an effect on you. Love.

"God, I hate when you're right," you sniffed, wiping your face with the sleeve of your sweater.

"You're not off the hook yet. You did lie to me, for weeks," he pointed a finger to your face. "There will be repercussions."

You laughed at his fake-serious expression. "I wouldn't expect any less from you, Kwannie."

"Are we going home now?" he asked, motioning to walk toward the street.

"I'm taking a detour, is that okay?" you turned to the other direction from where Seungkwan was motioning.

To where Seokmin lives.

His shoulders slumped down a bit. "Right. Keep me updated!" he said, pulling you into a last hug. "For real this time."

"Yeah, for real this time," you hugged him tightly and pulled away.

You knew where Seokmin lived, since you all had a group chat where you shared your address, so you had learned your best friends' addresses and you all lived within a 6km radius.

Seokmin lived in a building that was the farthest, and the fanciest. He apparently had found a great deal with one of his closest friends. This 'deal' was that the building was directly across a large LED Samsung billboard that pointed directly to his and his roommate's bedroom windows.

You got in to his apartment door, a strange reassuring feeling filled you as you rang his doorbell.

For a moment you thought you might've rung the wrong door. You glanced at the number before the door and then the man that was opening the door.

"Oh, hi. You must be Seokmin's roommate?"

A tall man of deep black hair nodded, flashing a polite smile at you. "I'm Joshua. You're looking for him?"

You nodded once, then you started feeling really nervous.

"Sorry. He flew to visit his family a couple of days ago. Might come back on friday," his brow furrowed. "Do you want me to tell him you stopped by?"

Your heartbeat faltered for a second. "Uh, no, it's okay. I just wanted to tell him something."

Joshua grinned, one of his eyebrows–which was pierced, arched up. "You could've texted him. Save you the walk all the way here."

"Didn't bring a phone," you mumbled, feeling deeply embarrassed.

You felt like you could use a hug. You were feeling a bit like something's missing, like you're not entirely alone but you were. And a hug would help.

His big curious eyes studied you for a second, his grin vanished and his hand moved from the doorframe. "You okay there? D'you need to come inside? I can get him on the phone if you want."

"'m fine," you brushed off. "Thank you, though."

There followed a quiet moment between Seokmin's roommate and you. It was really brief, but it gave you time to eye behind him, toward the interior of the apartment where you caught a glimpse of Seokmin's denim jacket.

You might be going insane, because the first thought you had was to ask Joshua if he could give you Seokmin's jacket. Anything close to him would work.

Joshua gave you a knowing look. "You're her, right? The girl Dk's been seeing lately."

You shook your head. "Not anymore, at least."

He rolled his big eyes. "You theatre kids can be dramatic," he smiled. "If it's any comfort, Dk's been a soppy mess too."

"Oof, that is really comforting," you chuckled ironically. "I'll be going now. Thank you for the comforting words, though."

Joshua smirked playfully. "Anytime," he nodded with his head once. "Get home safe!"

"Thanks," you waved at him and walked towards the elevator.

The closing night of a show can stir up a lot of emotions. After performing for five weeks straight, you had grown fond of your newfound routine.

And you were excited for the next show, too. But right now you couldn't focus on anything else but this night. It marked something special in you.

You had started this season feeling lost. Wandering in the dark not knowing how to navigate in your own body after your life was changed upside down.

A lot of things happened during this season.

Even now, you still didn't know how to deal with the pre-show jitters, as you called them. You were bouncing on your feet, pacing back and forth in a hallway that led to the emergency exit. Your makeup and hair were already done, after weeks of doing it yourself, you had mastered doing them in under ten minutes now.

So you were just dealing with the emotions before the show, listening the chaos that happened every time before a show. Some dancers were late, and apparently there was something wrong with the sound system but those problems usually would be solved the moment the show started.

All you needed to do was relax. You knew your lines, you knew your queues. Why were you so nervous?

You knew it had something to do with your mood lately. You weren't as bad as when you started this season, you felt different. But still, you felt like you still needed a hug.

The side of hallway you were hiding at was deserted, you actually had to take a turn to the right to return to the dressing rooms so no one really knew you were here. You leaned back in the wall of the hallway and looked at the ceiling for a moment, you felt a bit dazed.

You sighed heavily.

Your phone buzzed in the pocket of your dress. Reluctant, you fished it out and at glancing at it, immediately your attention was caught.

It was Seokmin.

[7:41 PM] seokminnie: noodle where r u [7:41 PM] you: working. u? [7:41 PM] seokminnie: i know you're working [7:41 PM] seokminnie: i'm here [7:42 PM] seokminnie: you're not backstage?

He's here. Your heart stopped.

[7:42 PM] you: why r u here? [7:43 PM] you: ??

No reply. You stared at your phone screen for what felt like forever, but Seokmin went offline.

You thought of searching for him and just as you were raising your head from your phone, you saw Seokmin turning on the hallway, as if knowing already that he'd find you here.

Your heart raced so fast you lost the ability to speak for a second. You hated it. Hated that you felt so much that you couldn't even utter a single word.

The first thing you noticed about him was that he had dyed his hair again. His hair was now styled in a rich, deep shade of black that matched his sweet chocolate brown eyes.

He smiled softly, the dimples beneath his mouth showed and you knew you were done for.

"Hi, noodle," he mumbled.

A shudder went down your spine. "Hi, Seokmin," you swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

Then you practically leaped into his arms, and he welcomed you right in. His arms encircled your body as a sigh was muffled in the crook of your neck, your feet left the ground for a second before he put you back in the floor.

"You're okay?" he muttered, still hugging you tightly.

"'m better now," you sighed, your voice sounded shaky and that made him break away from your embrace.

"No you're not," he countered, his hands cupping your face, looking at you intently. "What's wrong?"

You sniffed and looked up to try and control your tears. "Nothing. I just missed you," you laughed sheepishly.

"I know, noodle," he replied in a soft tone, pulling you back to his warm arms. "I miss you too. Everyday."

Seokmin's scent triggered a flood of emotions, bringing back memories. The fear and pain you have felt these past few days were long gone.

Seokmin felt like home. Like coming home after a tiring day, you can finally relax and unwind. The comfort of his affectionate embrace is everything you've been longing for in the last few days.

"Why are you here?" you asked, and pulled away to see him.

He was all dressed in black, all except for his white t-shirt, which you had already ruined with your tears and make up.

"Sorry," you whispered, trying to clean off the pink make up from his shirt.

"Don't worry about it," he brushed it off. "I'm here to see you."

You blinked. "You are?"

He rolled his eyes, yet he flashed a smile that tugged at your heartstrings sharply. "It's your closing night, noodle. I wouldn't miss it."

You felt your body relax under the wave of warmth his words caused. "And how did you know I'd be here?"

He shrugged, putting his hands on the pockets of his jeans. "A hunch," he laughed with a resigned sigh. "Soonyoung told me."

He heard you chuckle and a glint of joy appeared in his eyes.

"I was dealing with some pre-show jitters," you explained, trying to get your undereye to dry without smudging your makeup further.

"I imagined. Do you still feel nervous?"

You inhaled deeply. "A bit," you said. "But for a different reason now."

He cocked his head, pursing his lips slightly, showing the dimple beneath the corner of his mouth. "What's that?"

Suddenly your mouth went dry. You were drawn to him so much you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. You pulled him into a hug again but this time you didn't hide your face on his shoulder, you faced him and he didn't pull away.

Seokmin swallowed thickly, his eyes locked on yours briefly before resting his forehead on yours, his eyelids fluttering a bit as he sighed weakly. His hands found your waist, pulling you even closer to his frame.

"We need to talk," you whispered, your hands found his face, fingers touching his jawline gingerly.

"Right now?" you felt his brow furrow.

"After the show?" you asked, your voice sounded shaky.

"Let's talk tomorrow. Would you like that?"

You shook your head slightly and you heard him smile.

"We'll talk tomorrow," he insisted. "Tonight is yours, baby."

You shuddered again, him calling you baby would never feel old.

"But–," you started.

"I told you I'd be patient," he mumbled softly as he moved his hands from your waist and cupped your face.

"But I can't be patient," you whined, seeing his face again after he pulled back.

"I know," he smiled, his thumbs caressed your cheeks softly, seeming to shudder when your hands fell from his face and found the sides of his neck. "Try to enjoy tonight. Do that for me, will you?"

You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile.

He returned the smile. "That's my good girl," he sighed and angled your face so that he could press a loving kiss on your forehead.

The shiver running through your body made your eyelids flutter and sigh.

Then you heard commotion back in backstage that usually let you know that you needed to be stage ready soon. You looked up at Seokmin's sweet brown eyes, and he seemed to know too.

"Go. You got this, baby," he whispered with a nod of his head pointing toward the hallway.

You saw his eyes and his mouth for a brief minute, resisting the urge to kiss him. Seokmin saw you hesitate and sighed under a soft smile, using his hands on your face he kissed your forehead once and then your cheek sweetly.

"Go. I'll see you right after," he giggled.

You gently released yourself from his embrace and, just before you pulled away, you slyly kissed his cheek, eliciting another soft chuckle from him. With a quick step, you made your way back to the dressing room. Quickly, you touched up your makeup and prepared for your show.

You got this, you repeated to yourself.

As the stage lights come up, the murmur of the room died down. Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself for the start of the show, where the voices of your fellow cast members got ready for their cue too.

Everything in your head, every worry and anxiety quickly died down when you entered your scene on a dimly lit stage, your chest rose and fell with each controlled breath. As the orchestra's crescendo rose, your body became fluid and controlled at the same time, ready to reflect the passion of the character you have been portraying for weeks.

Your voice carries the weight of the character's struggles, resonating across the stage. The power and freedom you experience when projecting your voice makes you feel truly alive.

As your last scene came to its end, your voice rose, filling the space with a powerful resonance that reverberates throughout the room, the lights on you died out, the curtain fell.

And then a standing ovation erupted for you and your fellow cast members and the rest of the crew.

After regaining your composure, your chest heaving with pure adrenaline, the curtain rose again, showing you standing hand in hand with your cast and crew.

With a shared smile, you raise your clasped hands and take a deep bow, expressing your sincere thanks for the overwhelming support you received.

The staff crew swept in, you were clapping your hands together with the crowd at the same time that someone from the crew thrusted a bouquet of fresh flowers into your grasp.

You looked at the flowers. They were not roses. You didn't exactly like roses and someone was aware of that. Your fingers reached for the card tucked among the yellow and white daisies and you looked out into the crowd.

Seokmin was in the front rows, clapping proudly with a big smile. When you saw him, he waved at you with a sweet smile.

For my noodle. Let's cherish this beautiful night as you return fully on the stage again. From Seokmin.

Your eyes filled with tears and you felt yourself breaking down in a sob that was quickly muffled by the commotion in the theatre. You smiled and waved at Seokmin as a form of thanks.

But you wanted to do more. Your body urged to feel his embrace again.

What ensued next was a session for the press. It was something you have definitely done before, but it was your first as a lead. It felt long and arduous, as you were trying to get it done as quickly as possible without coming off as rude or indifferent.

You wanted to go back off stage, remove all your makeup and costume to find Seokmin again.

The flashes from the cameras blinded you briefly as you spoke, answering the questions from the press and other few people who had the opportunity for a quick commentary or feedback.

When you rushed off stage, everything was a blur. You just had finished your first season run in what felt like an eternity. It was your first season since you and your ex broke up. And it felt just so good to come back.

The jitters you had felt before were yesterday's worries. Now, you continue onwards.

There was no big after party on closing night. And you were okay with that. Some people from cast and crew were gathering at a bar afterwards but it wasn't something special or out of the ordinary, just like every friday night.

So the clothes you brought with you before the show were just comfy. Leggings, a tank top, sweater, hoodie and sneakers. Your outfit was just mean to keep you warm and comfy after the show. And you felt totally unprepared for a night out.

Seokmin was waiting for you outside the dressing rooms. Some guys from your cast were crowding around him, as it usually happened. Seokmin was a particularly shy guy, but had a lot of friends. A lot of people seemed to know him so, a small crowd followed him whenever he went.

He was chatting with a guy, looking interested but you knew it was a façade. He'd nod with his head and go 'yeah, yeah' and smile politely.

When you appeared in the hallway, flower bouquet in hand, his face lit up, apparently pulling him out from his trance. He seemed to excuse himself from the his friend group and strolled toward you, extending his arms in his way.

"You killed it, noodle," he muttered once he hugged you, his arms lifting you from the floor again, effortlessly.

"Thank you for the flowers," you mumbled in his shoulder.

"You liked them?" he asked, putting you back on the floor.

"They're beautiful," you nodded, smiling up to him. "How did you know I like yellow daisies?"

He blinked, looking back to the flowers and then your eyes. "I think you mentioned it. A while ago, I don't remember," he explained, scratching the back of his head shyly.

"I did?" you asked, feeling confused and then shrugged.

He nodded with his head, smiling softly at you. "D'you want to go where everyone's going after this?"

"Uh... no. Not really. I wanna go home," you muttered.

"Can I... walk you there?" he asked, and the look in his eye made you think that he was feeling shy.

You nodded eagerly and that made him smile broadly.

"Let's get you home then," he muttered, grabbed your duffel bag from your shoulder and threw it on his.

You kept your free hand in the pocket of your hoodie for two reasons. The first one being that it was starting to get really cold already, as the autumn died out day by day. The other reason was so that you kept your hands to yourself.

You wanted to touch Seokmin. To hold his hand as you walked on the side walk in direction to your apartment. But you knew that you had to wait until you two talked, you didn't want to cross a line again.

"I got the role," you told him after a minute of silence. You had started to feel tension in your walk, as if Seokmin were thinking what you were thinking too.

"You'll be Satine?" he looked at you with a proud smile on his face. "That's awesome, congrats."

Your fingers caressed a soft petal of one daisy. "Thanks. Soonyoung will play Christian, though. He's mortified."

Seokmin's brow furrowed. "Why? I thought he wanted this role. Something about proving himself that he can sing on a lower register."

"He's worried that we'll have to share some kissing scenes," you mumbled, and then you started to get why Soonyoung was worried, because an uneasy warmth crept up your cheeks.

"I see," he pressed his lips into a smile. "And how do you feel?"

"I'm annoyed," you replied. "I don't care that I'll have to kiss him. I'm annoyed that he's making such a fuss about it and we haven't even started script readings."

"Yeah, he can be a bit dramatic," he chuckled. "But I'm glad you got the role, though."

Seokmin stopped walking and you almost felt confused until it dawned on you that you were already outside your building. Your heart faltered a little, seeing that you'd probably had to return to your apartment alone after spending your closing night with him.

"You're sure you don't want to come in?" you asked sheepishly, pointing a thumb towards the building.

Seokmin glanced up at the building briefly, appearing to be reconsidering it. "I'm sure, noodle," he muttered with a low tone.

Your shoulders slumped down a little. "Okie dokie," you whispered, still grabbing your bouquet of flowers with one hand.

"But we'll talk tomorrow, remember?" he asked, seeing your reaction.

You made a small pout, aware of your own childishness, but going with it all the same. Seokmin responded with a soft laugh, wrapping you in a comforting embrace.

"Don't make it more difficult for me," he hummed, his head resting beside yours gently. "If I go to your apartment with you right now, I might not come out. We need to talk first. And you know it."

Your whole body burned with anticipation and your arms clung to him, pulling him close to your body. You couldn't think of what to say and it seemed words were inadequate. You simply longed for his presence beside you.

He pulled his head back, a hand cupping the side of your face. "Baby, you're killing me," he muttered, a tortuous smile creeping on his face. "Can't you wait until tomorrow?"

"Not when you call me that," you muttered, still pouting.

His gaze softened. "My bad," he sighed under a small smile that looked content on his face, even though you were pressuring him. "Let's talk tomorrow, alright? Get some rest. I'll text you."

"Fine," you mumbled, and the hand cupping your face pinched your pouting lip gently, making you smile in response.

"C'mere," he whispered, pulling you closer to kiss your forehead, his lips pressing kisses gingerly on your face.

His forehead rested on yours, the proximity of his face to yours made you close your eyes briefly and you heard him sigh deeply.

"Text me when you get home?" you asked, feeling that you just needed to get anything he'd give you.

He chuckled. "Sure thing," he muttered, not quite making a gesture to leave. "Anything else?"

"Mmm, dunno. Let me think about it," you pretended to ponder over it, only to cling to his body for a while longer.

After a brief moment, you pulled away from his embrace reluctantly. His arms relaxed around you and his sweet brown eyes found yours.

He was right. As much as you wanted to drag him into your apartment, you needed to talk first. It was necessary for you to have some order in your friendship before you could do something with him again.

It was the right thing to do. You hated it. But he was right.

"Alright," you muttered. "See you tomorrow, then."

He handed you your duffel bag back. It wasn't heavy, but being the gentleman that he was, Seokmin always offered to carry it himself.

"Thank you for the flowers," you repeated with a shy smile.

Seokmin shrugged, putting his hands on his jean pockets and eyed you up and down. He blinked slowly, his lips pursing a little.

"They look good on you," he said warmly, a predilect glint on his eyes.

A small sigh escaped you. He was just so fucking beautiful. You had to resist the urge of pulling him into a kiss right there and then. He was also making it difficult for you by just existing.

"Thanks," you whispered, feeling yourself blush a little.

"See you tomorrow, noodle," he pulled you into a last bear hug, patting your head playfully before walking away.

When you got home, the first thing you did was look for a flower vase, or something remotely useful to put the bouquet in. In view that you didn't have a flower vase, you found a jar and decided that it was good enough in the mean time until you bought an actual vase.

You found yourself smiling as you looked for a place to put your flower bouquet, deciding that the little coffee table in your living room was perfect for it.

Your phone buzzed a little while after.

[11:44 PM] seokminnie: i'm home [11:44 PM] seokminnie: gnight noodle

A smile crept on your face, feeling a tight warmth fill you in.

[11:44 PM] you: goodnight seokmin :)⁠♡

The day seemed pale and gloomy, as autumn slowly reached its peak with a frosty air. The pavements were covered with fallen leaves as you approached the park. Despite the chill, the atmosphere was pleasant.

You dug your hands deep in the pockets of your jacket. Having a but of fun with the puff that your breath created in the cold winds as you drew closer to where you and Seokmin had agreed to meet up.

It was the park you used to visit to wind down after exams when you were in university. The same park you had taken a long nap in Seokmin's lap years ago.

Did Seokmin remember that same event? You weren't entirely certain, but it seemed plausible that he chose this location because it was strategic, being a midpoint for both of you.

You were just arriving to the park when you realised that you had forgotten your phone yet again. But now it was something that made you panic a little. The park was so large that you didn't know where Seokmin might be arriving through and if he relied on his phone to find you, he could think that you had stood him up.

You looked around, thinking fast. Despite the cold weather, people were gathering at the park to walk, do exercise or just socialise. So it was a bit crowded, a bit difficult to stand out.

But then, you decided to trust, and walked toward that same tree you use to gather with your friends. The same tree Seokmin sat at when you fell asleep in his lap. You didn't think he remembered, but you had no other choice.

The walk over there gave you a chance to look around, to see if you spotted his familiar frame.

Until you saw that tree in the distance, it was located close to the lane you were walking, and it had a clearing of leaf covered grass surrounding it. It stood alone.

You caught sight of Seokmin, strolling with one hand in his pocket, the other clutching his phone, his brow furrowed in concentration as he seemed absorbed in whatever was on the screen, his steps aimless.

He had his dark hair tussled carelessly and wore a cosy looking oversized navy blue sweater, jeans and red converse. You took a second to breathe again, looked so cute, almost threw you back to your university days.

He was so absorbed in looking at his phone screen that he almost bumped into you. "Oh, I'm so sorry–," he said startled as he looked from his screen to you. "I was looking for you," he gasped. "I tried calling you and texting–"

"I forgot my phone," you mumbled shyly.

He sighed, and then smiled warmly. "Noodle, you scared me for a minute," he circled your body with his arms. "I thought you wouldn't come."

"I wouldn't do that," you said, catching a small whiff from the smell of his sweater.

He hugged you tightly for a second, rocking his body from side to side gently and taking you with him.

"Do you remember when we'd come here?" you heard him mumble and felt him rest his cheek on the crown of your head.

"Of course I do," you whispered. "I once slept on your lap for hours."

"You did?" he asked and you felt your heartbeat falter a little.

"And drooled on your leg," you giggled.

"Mmyeah I think I'm starting to remember. Disgusting," he chuckled, but he sounded fond of the memory.

He stopped rocking your bodies, pulling his head back to cup your face in his hands.

"Joshua told me that you were looking for me a few days ago," his brow furrowed a little.

You sighed. "I told him not to tell you," you whined a little.

"Why? What happened? Why didn't you call me?" his eyes searched yours.

You swallowed thickly and breathed in deeply as if gathering strength. "I needed to talk to you," your voice was shaky. "I needed to tell you how much I... missed you."

"But why didn't you tell me anything?" his hands dropped from your face, as if giving you space to talk freely.

"I... think I was scared," you mumbled feeling like you'd soon start to shake from the chill air. "I needed time to think and reflect about what I wanted but my own feelings scared me."

He listened attentively, his gaze shifting from your eyes to your mouth, a habit you had noticed he used whenever you spoke to him.

"I went to find you because I needed to tell you that I feel the same way about you," his eyes widened slightly as he took your words in, and you could almost sense the shift in his breathing. "I want to be with you too, but I've been scared to fuck this up because..."

You swallowed thickly again, the knot in your throat making it impossible to utter a word without your voice breaking.

"...because you mean a lot to me," you continued despite feeling vulnerable. "I don't want to fuck up what we have. You're my best friend, our friendship is too important to me."

His gaze softened and he tilted his head to one side, a gentle, affectionate gesture. "Why would you fuck this up? There's nothing you could ever do that would drive me away, you know that."

Your eyes filled with hot tears, and you felt your lower lip quiver under the wave of emotions commanding your body. "I know. I panicked. I–just, I want us to work."

His sweet brown eyes seemed to glint with emotion. "You do?" he mumbled.

You nodded, wiping your tears with your sleeves. "I looked for you because I couldn't stand keeping this to myself any longer," you admitted, your voice trembling. "I… I also want to see where this could go."

Seokmin looked at you with a mixture of surprise and relief, and his initial tension slowly faded into a warm smile. "I'm glad you found the strength to tell me," he said, his voice full of affection and warmth. "I also felt scared. I didn't want to rush it, I didn't want to rush you because I know you. I knew you'd need some time to think."

Your body shook with cold and nervousness. It took a lot from you to speak your feelings, let alone to confess something as important as this to Seokmin. But you felt alright, as it dawned on you that you had finally taken that step, and it felt so right.

"Can you..." you mumbled, choking with emotion, "can you forgive me for panicking?"

He blinked, perplexed. "What?" he smiled sweetly, his warm hands cupping your cold cheeks again. "Don't be silly. I have nothing to forgive."

Your hands grabbed his wrists, thumbs caressing his skin as Seokmin rested his forehead on yours. "I didn't mean to hurt you. It was never my intention to mess with you," you explained, pondering over what he said on that dark alley last saturday.

"I know, and I understand," he whispered. "You have nothing to apologise for, baby."

A shiver ran down your spine, and you closed your eyelids, savouring the moment and his comforting warmth.

You heard Seokmin sigh softly, his hands cupping your face and tilting your face slightly before his lips locked onto yours and you swore you might have melted into the kiss. You felt your whole body shudder under a wave of joy and affection as his lips pressed over yours sweetly, kissing your lower lip and cheek with such predilection that your eyes began to water a little.

As you stood there, hands intertwined, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving you and Seokmin alone, wrapped in this new reality.

"Are you cold, baby?" he asked, his tone wrapped in a gentle warmth.

"A bit, yeah," you replied.

"Mm, I can get you somewhere warm," he muttered, pulling away and you saw his face beaming with joy. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

You smiled and felt his thumb brush the tears from your face. "I'd love that."

"Right now?"

The smile turned into a giggle. "Of course."

You started walking to the opposite direction of the park to which you got in. Seokmin grabbed your hand, locking his fingers with yours and with that brought you hand to kiss your knuckles with a smile that made his eyes beam.

The day was cloudy, with a gentle drizzle lightly sprinkling you with drops of water. The rain was gentle and intermittent, not enough to be bothersome, so you both paid little attention to it, immersed in the moment and in each other's company.

"Are you hungry? We could go to a restaurant that's not far from here," he said, as you walked hand in hand with him through the park where you used to walk as uni students.

"Sure," you said, feeling like it didn't really mattered where he took you, as long as you were together.

"Or we could go to watch a movie, if you're not hungry," he suggested, eyeing you with a smile still plastered on his face.

You laughed and that drew his attention back to your face. "You call the shots, mister."

"Would'you like to go to the aquarium sometime?" he asked, speaking so fast that you had to take a second to process what he said. "I've heard they have aquarium nights."

He spoke so fast that his thoughts seemed to be racing, a revealing sign of his excitement. This image made your heart flutter in your chest. Happiness sweeps over you, a joy so deep that you can't contain the broad smile that spreads across your face.

Droplets of water splashed in your forehead and shoulders, so icy cold that they made you flinch. Then the rain started to pour on you, washing over the park and river so sudden that took you by surprise. You had been ignoring the soft drizzling, not thinking that it was a warning of the upcoming downpour.

"Or we could run to cover," he suggested, chuckling a little. His nose wrinkled a little as the rain fell on his face.

Seokmin held your hand tight as you ran through the park and into the city streets, trying to find somewhere to cover as you quickly found a tall building that offered some roof for you to cover yourselves from the downpour.

"We could go to mine and wait," Seokmin said, his chest heaving from running, pointed a finger to the next corner of the street from where you stood. "It's the closest."

It was true. Since you both ran the other way to which you got here from yours. You nodded, your body starting to shiver from the cold water that already had your hair all wet.

"We have to run again," he said, surveying you.

"I'm okay with that," you nodded.

"Okay," he breathed and took your hand again, leading the way through the downpour toward his building.

Amidst the downpour drenching your entire body, a sudden thought struck you. "Wait!" you called out, your voice barely audible over the sound of the rain.

You tugged at his hand, making him stop, and turned to face you, concern shown on his burrowed brow.

He stared at you as you pulled him close, fingers cupping his face and a smile slowly crept across his lips. He took you by the waist, understanding your and your gazes met.

Your noses bumped lightly and you noticed Seokmin's soft chuckle, his warm brown eyes shifting from your gaze to your lips. Then he leaned towards you and his lips met yours in a gentle kiss, as your hands pulled him even closer.

The kiss was brief, but you tried to savour every second of it. You saw his eyes again when you pulled away, his hands on your waist not quite letting you go, his heavy lidded eyes looking at you with so much love that made you shudder.

"Let's go," he muttered softly, leaning to press a loving kiss on your forehead before walking to the lobby of his building.

It was really hard to keep your hands off him. When you were on the elevator, you had to settle for just kissing his face softly, eliciting some sweet chuckles from him.

His apartment was dark and empty when you got there. Seokmin turned the lights on, realising that his roommate wasn't in.

"You want to take a shower? I can lend you some clothes and dry yours on the dryer," he said as he removed his shoes.

You could only nod, feeling so cold that your whole body trembled. Seokmin saw you and gave you a soft smile, taking your hand to swiftly lead you to the bathroom, he got the shower ready as soon as he got you in.

"I'll bring a towel for you," he said, exiting from the bathroom and probably leaving you to have some privacy to remove your heavy soaking wet clothes.

You heard him return when you were already beneath the warm water from the shower.

"I left you dry clothes and a towel here, noodle," he announced quickly before going out again.

The clothes were his, a wide black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. The sweatpants were too baggy for your frame, but you could adjust the waist to fit.

He laughed a little when he saw you coming out of the bathroom. "You look tiny," he chuckled. "Are you okay with those? I can lend you other things if you want."

"I'm okay with these," you assured him, looking at your body with his baggy clothes. Your legs did look shorter.

"Okay," he said and then he removed his sweater in a swift movement, revealing his lean torso. "You can wait in my bedroom if you like," he suggested.

"Okie dokie," you muttered, without taking your eyes off him.

He sighed under a cheeky smile, bending down to give you a chaste kiss on your mouth. "I'll be there shortly, baby."

You found his room intuitively, since the two doors down the hall from the bathroom were facing each other, one was closed and the one opened revealed Seokmin's things.

His curtains remained open, allowing the bright city lights to cast a range of colours on her bed and the nearby bedside table. The bedside table held a small, softly glowing lamp and a book, which made you think of his reading habit before sleeping.

The window offered a glimpse of the source of the light illuminating his room. The building opposite his window was of a shorter height, revealing the rooftop within view. Perched atop it was a broad LED billboard displaying various advertisements in vibrant hues.

There was a dresser that had a bunch of clutter on top of it, caps, hats, fun glasses, sunglasses, fake glasses, and a pile of screenplays from past roles he had.

But a certain object caught your eye, and your heart fluttered a little when you saw something that once belonged to you. It was a black and yellow bracelet, the yellow beads were painted with smiley faces by you.

You thought you had lost it a long time ago. It just turned out Seokmin had it all along.

After that, you took the liberty of lying on his bed. His creamy white duvet was soft and you could smell the detergent on the pillows. You closed your eyes, hearing the soft cacophony of the rain patter on the windows.

When Seokmin returned, he was draped in a navy blue bathrobe and was using another smaller towel to dry his dark hair. He saw you lying in his bed a soft smile tugged his lips.

"I forgot to tell you," you muttered, sitting up on the edge of his bed, "I like your new hair."

He hummed with a smirk. "You do?" he asked as he closed his bedroom door.

"Mmyeah, you look good," you smirked too.

His fingers tugged at the knot of his bathrobe but he stopped. "Close your eyes, noodle," he chuckled, making a gesture with his hand.

You rolled your eyes. "Nothing I haven't seen before," you muttered while smiling at him.

"But what if I'm shy?" he said while pouting cutely and you noticed that he was joking.

He tugged at the knot of the bathrobe, undoing it at the same time that Seokmin smiled at your eager eyes. The robe parted and a shudder shook you slightly when you saw his body completely naked as he removed the robe from his shoulders and hanged it on a hook on his door.

"You don't close your curtains?" you asked, seeing his body covered by the vibrant colours that the billboard projected.

"What for? No one else is watching," he smirked, turning to look for something on his drawers.

You bit your lip, still watching his body move, every muscle of his legs that tugged with his walk as he pretended to search his drawers. He looked at you through the corner of his eye, letting out a soft laugh.

"Baby, stop eye fucking me," he muttered shyly. "It's making me hard."

You bit your lip harder, trying to suppress a smile, but your core was already throbbing at the sight of him–his large cock was stirring up, stretching up slowly.

"Can I help you with that?" you asked eagerly, practically drooling at the sight of his cock getting harder by the second.

Seokmin turned to face you, still some steps far from where you were sitting on his bed. "Mm, I was thinking of waiting until we actually started having dates and stuff," he confessed, but the tip of his cock was already darkened in a reddish pink.

You smiled sweetly at him, looking riddled with the dilemma he came up with himself. "We can start dating tomorrow," you suggested innocently.

He chuckled softly, moving from his drawers to you. "That bad you want me, baby?" he asked, closing the distance until his knees where brushing with yours. His cock so fucking hard that was pointing upward and inclining to the side a little.

You couldn't resist any further. Your hand grabbed his cock, which was completely hard now and pumped it a few times, making him sigh shakily. You saw his face, as he tilted his head to one side when you used a hand to rub the tip of his cock that dripped in his precum, smearing it all over his soft and warm skin.

"Yeah, that bad," you replied before guiding his cock to your lips.

You slid your tongue around his cockhead, tasting his precum before you took him inside your mouth, your tongue gliding across his length as you tried to take him to the hilt. But you decided to take it slowly, your hand pumped at the length you couldn't reach with your mouth, starting to move your head back and forth slowly.

"Fuck," he whispered, grabbing your hair at your scalp his hands, tugging gently. "You take me so well. So fucking good."

The sound of his voice made your core pulsate a little, and you hummed on his cock as you pulled your head back, hollowing your cheeks before swirling your tongue on his tip and pushing your head as far as you could, until you felt the tip of your nose touch with his pubic hair.

Your darted a look at his face, he was looking at you, his throat bobbed and moaned softly when you pulled back again while hollowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue around his cockhead before pushing in again.

"Mmmfuck. Keep doing that, baby," he muttered, one of his hands moved from your hair to clean drool from the corner of your mouth, his other hand worked on grabbing your hair as efficiently as he could.

You complied, but you started doing the same movements faster. The sounds coming from your mouth as you sucked him off resounded on his bedroom, mixing with the soft sounds coming from Seokmin.

"That feels so good, baby," he hummed and you could sense that it was taking all his strength not to move and start thrusting his cock in your mouth himself.

You kind of wanted him to. To grab your head and start fucking your mouth hard and fast but you knew you weren't ready for that. Each time his cockhead reached your throat you had to breathe in through your nose, his cock so big that you could barely work your mouth on it without gagging.

He cleaned more drool from your chin, using that same hand to get some tears from your eyes. "Can you swallow, baby?" he asked in a strangled tone.

"Mmm-mmph," that was all you could make out in agreement while you still had his cock stuffed in your mouth.

His hand moved from your chin to join the other one grasping your hair and you knew he was about to cum from the taut look on his face. His breath hitched and his mouth parted a little, letting out a groan, blinking slowly as he dumped hot spurs of cum on your throat and you swallowed every single drop of it.

"Good girl," he whispered, gathering more tears from your cheeks with one hand. He let go of your hair gently to cup your face and slowly pull out from your mouth.

He bent down and sealed your lips with a kiss. You moaned in response, thinking that he would taste himself in your tongue as his slid in your mouth. But he didn't seem to care and moaned softly, pushing his body on top of yours, making you lay in his bed.

"Your turn, baby," he groaned, taking the shirt you were wearing on his hands and you arched your back for him.

He removed it and quickly went to get the sweatpants he lent you, which were already ruined in your own arousal. Seokmin saw the glistening streak smeared all over the crotch of the inside of his sweatpants and smiled before throwing them on the floor.

He got up from the bed and knelt before it, your body shuddered with a warm eagerness when you knew what that meant. He yanked you down on his bed, grabbing you by your thighs and you placed him on his shoulder, earning a proud look on his face when he saw you anticipate him.

His hands pressed gently on your lower belly before he dipped his head down between your thighs, licking a stripe on your wet pussy. You moaned loudly and took his head with your hands, your fingers tangling on his wet hair.

Seokmin immediately knew how to work his tongue on your cunt, so he wasted no time and started lapped his tongue in your folds, wet sounds coming from the interaction of his tongue on your core, licking your arousal as if it were his favourite meal.

You cried out, arching your back on his bed. Your legs were already shaking, your body building up towards your release. The tip of his tongue made its way to your clit, teasing it and nibbling at it with his lips until he got it to swell before he expertly started sucking at it, pressing his tongue on it and moving his head up and down lightly.

"Seokmin–," you called in a high keen whimper, "f-fuck, don't stop. Please, baby, don't stop."

He hummed gently, complying as if it were the only thing that mattered. Your body started trembling more as your orgasm shook you, washing over you in warm waves of pleasure that had you arching your back and calling his name loudly.

You breathed hard, body twitching on his bed uncontrollably as his mouth worked on you until he felt your limbs relax. He planted sweet kisses on your thighs and removed his hands from your lower belly.

Panting, you opened your eyes, feeling your lashes wet in tears and blinked until you saw Seokmin's body hovering on top of you.

"You're okay?" he asked and you nodded. He dipped his head again and kissed you softly. You hummed in his mouth, tasting your taste on his tongue as it lapped your lower lip and tongue, dominating the kiss.

"Seokmin," you mumbled in his lips.

He pulled away with a wet sound from breaking the kiss.

"I want you," you whispered, using a hand to push his wet bangs away from his forehead.

He smirked. "How do you want me, baby?"

You rolled your eyes, a smile spreading on your face. "Fuck me, Seokmin. Make love to me," you mumbled, searching his face.

"In that order?" he asked with a breathy laugh.

"In whatever order you want," you muttered as he bent to plant open mouthed kisses on your mouth, then down on your jaw. "I just need you inside me, please."

"Mmm," he hummed as his mouth reached your collarbones. "My pretty girl, so impatient as always," he muttered as he reached your tits.

His hand and mouth teased your nipples, kissing and tugging at them softly. You moaned, your hands finding his wet hair again.

"Please, baby," you whispered. "Jus'need you."

He chuckled, moving his mouth to the crook of your neck. "Keep calling me that and I might give you what you want."

You were still placed in one side of the bed, your ass almost hanging at the edge of the mattress, your legs wrapped around him. Seokmin had one of his knees placed on the bed and one foot down on the floor for support. It seemed an odd position but, you decided not to budge.

Then his lips pressed a wet kiss on your sensitive spot, gentle kisses trailed from the crook of your neck to your ear lobe. He heard you moan and sigh as his lips travelled back down to the crook of your neck, kissing your tender skin gently.

"I want you to mark me too, baby," you whimpered, grabbing the back of his neck as he licked your neck swiftly.

He hummed and complied almost instantly, his lips starting to suck at your soft skin, making you moan in pleasure and approval that you'd have his mark on you.

Seokmin marked you on both sides of your neck, just in the points he knew you liked the most and then you felt his hips come down and rest the lower half of your body on top of yours and between your thighs. Then he pushed his hips on yours, his cock sliding between your pussy lips, practically gliding in your arousal.

You bit back a moan at the feeling of his hard cock smearing your pussy in your own slick as his lips marked your neck.

"Seokmin, please," you whimpered when his cockhead pushed at your entrance briefly, sloppily before resuming to slide between your pussy lips, teasing your clit too.

He smirked, you could feel his lips on your neck as he hummed, again, as if he were actually considering your pleas. He pulled his head back, placing an open mouthed kiss on your chin.

"Please, baby. Fuck–fuck me. Make love to me. I need you so fucking much," you pleaded, thinking that you might sound dumb in your high keen whimpers and sobs.

But his cockhead stopped at your entrance again and pushed in slowly. You were so wet that he practically eased himself in, stretching your gummy walls and making you moan in the process of sheathing his cock inside you to the hilt.

His mouth parted a bit, looking at your face attentively as you cried out in pleasure, the feeling of him inside you was so good that it made your eyes water. Then he took both of your legs, and you knowingly helped him place them on each of his shoulders.

Seokmin stroked one of your legs as he eased himself in again shallow thrusts. "You take me so well, baby," he said, pulling his hips back and thrusting in with more depth.

You could only utter a half moan in agreement as his hips rutted against yours, then he pushed his body forward, pressing your legs against your chest as he thrusted his cock inside you, filling you up so deliciously that you couldn't help but cry out in pleasure.

"You feel so good," Seokmin whispered through gritted teeth.

He took one of your legs and rested it on his shoulder, pushing inside you again so deeply that you felt your body melt in a wave of pleasure. "Mmm, you too, baby," you whimpered. "So fucking good."

Then he started to pick up his pace, plunging his cock in so hard and fast that you felt your breath escape from your lungs. You cried out, your hands holding on his duvet in fists, feeling his cockhead hit a spot within you so deep, so deliciously that your eyes welled up in tears.

"F-fuck. Seokmin–," your voice came out in a broken moan. "Right there, baby! Don't stop, please."

You heard him groan and your eyes found his sweet ones. The plunging of him inside you felt so good and so controlling that your sanity started to slip from your mind. The pressure from your orgasm taking over you so hard and so unannounced that you didn't have a chance to warn him.

But he could tell from the loud cries that left your mouth, and the clasping of your walls around his cock, so erratic and tight around his girth that had him groaning your name with a raspy voice.

Through teary eyes, you watched him blink slowly, the tip of his tongue hung slightly on the corner of his mouth as he cursed and moaned softly before cumming inside you. His cockhead buried in the glorious spot inside you as his hot spurs of cum coated your gummy walls.

But he was still on a mission.

He eased your legs back down. "Scoot back, baby," he commanded and you obliged, moving your body to the centre of the bed for him.

You used the movement of your bodies to look at his body. Painted under the lights of the billboard in front of the building, you could see that his cock was still hard, glistening wet in both your cream and his cum.

You swallowed hard at the sight of him as he placed his knees on the bed, his tall body standing in front of you.

"You're so fucking beautiful," you muttered, still feeling like you were coming down from your high.

Seokmin chuckled breathily. "You too, baby. So fucking beautiful," he muttered as he slot himself between your thighs, pressing loving kisses on your face.

He slid himself back inside you, eliciting a moan from you that was muffled by his mouth on yours. Your hands were down on his lower back, feeling his hips rutting on yours slowly, almost lazily but it still felt so good, so perfect.

"You're okay there?" he asked softly when he pulled back from your lips.

"Mmmyeah, 'm okay baby," you muttered, moving one hand to cup the side of his face as your eyes absorbed his soft features under the pretty lights from outside.

You bit back a moan, hearing the squelching noises created by his cock pushing deep inside your cunt, the wet noises of your juices and his cum inside you sounded so good that you felt the need to see it too. Seokmin heard your low whimpers and the movement of his hips stuttered a bit.

Seokmin took your hand from his cheek, intertwining your fingers in his and placing it beside your head. The thrusts of his hips against yours were methodical, and almost like clockwork he started to rut on you faster.

You wrapped your legs around him, your other hand found the back of his head, caressing his soft dark hair before pulling his face to yours.

Seokmin rested his forehead on yours gently, his breath brushing on your lips. "I can't get enough of you," he muttered in between hot kisses he planted on your face. "M-might never do."

A moan escaped you, feeling a wave of both pleasure and warmth flood inside you. Your lips crashed with his, kissing him fervently as he made love to you. Passionately, hard and fast.

"I feel the same way," you sobbed. "I need you so much. It drives me crazy."

He moaned in a mixture of pleasure and agreement, a soft smile spread on your lips, feeling your breath hitch before Seokmin pulled his chest from yours, letting go of your hand to grab your hips without stopping his ministrations on you. "Cum with me, baby," he muttered, moving his hips against yours lazily.

Your hand slid where your bodies were still connected, your two middle fingers found your clit that was so covered in your slick that it was almost hard to rub it without your fingers slipping. But you pressed hard on it, your walls clenching hard on his cock as you let out a long moan.

You succumbed to a sweet, long orgasm, crying out loudly as his cock kept pushing in, riding your high and causing his. Seokmin also groaned loudly, thrusting hard and deep as he dumped his load inside your walls for a second time, his face and collarbones covered in a faint layer of sweat, chest heaving heavily.

You felt your body pulsate with his as you came down of your high. You too were breathing hard, your body slumped on his soft duvet, feeling also covered in both your and his sweat. You watched Seokmin still on his knees before you, slotted between your thighs.

It was so fucking hard to tear your eyes from him. Hell, the mere experience of being apart from him for even a few days was unbearable. Also, the care and consideration he demonstrated showed the depth of his feelings for you, too. So, maybe he was just as crazy about you too.

The lights of the billboard outside painted Seokmin's face in shifting shades of blue and pink. As you watched him, his lazy eyes, his sweet smile spread and the dimples under his mouth became more pronounced.

He was so fucking beautiful that it made your chest ache.

"God," you uttered in a broken sob. "I love you so much."

♡︎ a/n: waaaa i love seokmin sm i wanna hug him heheh. hi everyone! this one took me a couple of days to write cause i had to move but i hope you guys like it. i'm sorry if there's any mistakes, i posted this as soon as i finished it u-u

if u like this, show it sum love? pls pls i'd appreciate it ♡ and stay tuned for next part!!

btw thanks to all that have sent messages and comments, i love u all. ty ty ty

also, this fic belongs to a shared au so i'll be posting more fics with the rest of the boys soon stay tuned!

my taglist is open! just send me an ask and tell me if u want to be tagged in the other fics too and i'll add u :) toodles

#lee dokyeom smut #lee seokmin smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #lee dokyeom x reader #lee seokmin x reader #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #svt fic #ff:backstage #hannieween

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